What's Up With The X Mom Gang?

The Gang has undergone some changes and new members have been recruited. We moved almost two years ago and the boys figured I wasn't nearly busy enough so they found a few more Mascots to join the family. Ebony is an 11 year old black lab who was given to us when her previous owner moved into an apartment and couldn't take her, Fats is almost a year old and became part of the family as a puppy when Scooter looked up at me with his gorgeous brown eyes and said "please mommy?" What was I supposed to say "no".. yeah right. He is a beagle and basset hound mix.. very interesting to look at. Diesel,a miniature Dachsund was given to me for my birthday by my Grandma and he is the best dog ever. So the craziness around here is definitely maxed out most of the time.

What's Going on with the Kids?

Smarty Pants started a new school at the beginning of this year and is in love with it. He is doing well, can almost write his name, and has gotten his first letter grade. He got a C in math, not a P for progress or a S for satisfactory.. He got a C.. I am so proud of him.

Renegade Doodle is doing well in school, this is his last year in the Early Childhood Special Ed program and things are looking bright for him. So far we are planning on mainstream Kindergarten woo hooo!! Go Doodle.

Scooter is going to star the Early Childhood program in two weeks, and I am not handling this well. He's my baby and I was determined to keep him till he was 5. I am worried for him because he hasn't been away from home much. He doesn't seem to be worried he is excited.. hasn't stopped asking about school.

Update on The X Mom:
I returned to college this Fall, and have chosen Occupational Therapy as my major. I will graduate from a local community college in May, then move on to an University in the Fall of 2011. The program that I have chosen is a condensed program. It takes 3 years to graduate with a Masters in OT.. I am hoping to start writing again I really miss it and I definitely have tons of stories about the gang to share.

Be prepared for more from The X Mom..

Musical Monday

I love this song...





And from the Gang....

I Got This!

Finally I have some control! Yeah that's right I said control. The Gang members have been going through Behavior Bootcamp as most of you know, and I'm finally getting to take my turn as the Drill Sargent formerly a rotating position between Renegade Doodle and Smarty Pants. Bedtime is a piece of cake, all members of the Gang have been in their own beds asleep by 8:30 at the latest w/o tears, screaming, kicking or hair pulling. So I've been slipping a little melatonin in the snack time sippy but everyone needs a little assistance once in awhile. The melatonin isn't enough to knock them out but calms them enough to sit and listen to a story or watch a movie.

RD's aggression is being handled by putting him in the highchair for time out until he is calm, we decided not to give him any type of play dough or putty, but he can have something to bite on. When the time out is over he has to apologize and hug whoever he hurt.. even if it was the dog. This is working very well and he is getting it... He proved that he knows what hurting is and that there is now a consequence for it today when he accidentally knocked Scooter down. As soon as Scooter fell William looked at me then immediately hugged and apologized to Scooter. He LOOKED AT ME!!! YAY! He wanted to see if he was going to be put in the highchair... YES! So I explained to him that it was an accident.

Smarty Pants on the other hand is giving defiance his all and bucking like a Bronco. The hardest time frame is during his "rebound period". I can manage to talk him thru frustration and prevent tantrums for awhile but eventually the Big T occurs. Nell and I are working on this and so far I'm still at a loss. She has wonderful ideas and strategies but some of them I don't feel are practical for my situation but something has to be done. We might go back to ignoring, that seemed to be working. To do this Nell and I are going to need to spend time teaching the daycare kids to ignore SP when he's having a tantrum. I am seeing improvement, the Big T's are not as severe, and are not lasting nearly as long. Woo Hoo.. so we are getting somewhere.

Basically what I'm trying to say is " I got this" and doing it on my own feels awesome! This is the first time in my life where I haven't felt dependant on my husband to enforce the rules. I actually turned down his offer to help me and TOLD him to go WATCH TV!!!

What's Working For You?

As most you know my family is currently working with a behavior specialist to reduce problem behaviors. Our biggest battle right now is with Renegade Doodle. His aggression is steadily getting worse, and he is seeking out others when he is angry, or upset. The cause of his anger does not change the outcome, it is always expressed with violence. Ideally we would like to avoid anger fueled tantrums / meltdowns, but they are occurring instantly after being denied a request. Giving him everything he requests ALL the time would worsen the situation, so I always provide alternative choices if what he is requesting is unavailable. Choices are not working with RD... he wants what he wants.

I spoke with his teacher this AM and she feels that timeouts will eventually be effective, however to follow thru with timeouts at home he has to be put in a highchair, otherwise time out is a game of cat and mouse. I don't have a problem w/ putting him in the high chair but I do have a problem with him hurting himself while in the chair. He bites the side of his hand along the bottom of his thumb and has started to draw blood. He is also pulling his hair, but so far no significant hair loss.

Mrs. Teacher and I are thinking about giving him silly putty or playdough while in the highchair, but these are both things he really enjoys and we don't want to reward the misbehavior, but would the silly putty and playdough be calming and help? This is where we are stumped... What do you mom's think? If he is in the chair and it calms him down and makes the timeout last only the 3minutes instead of him continuing to tantrum and it lasting 20 + min. The rule I was told to follow w/ timeout is you don't come out until your calm... regardless of length. For those of you who use timeout is that how you follow thru w/ it? If not what are your strategies?

Bedtime Routines

What are your routines at bedtime? What have you found that works best, and what hasn't worked for you?

Ugh....

Today has been exhausting and it's still not over for me yet! I am taking a small breather before sending the boys to bed. I had lots of extras today, There were 6 or more children in my house allday... we hit an all time high at 9 at 5:30 and well there are still 8!!! 3 are my Gang, 2 are Smarty Pants sisters from his dad's new marriage, and the other 3 are kids I sit for plus their older sister who normally isn't here. It's official I have lost all my marbles.. who in their right mind willingly lets 7 extra children into their home.. Okay so some of them are paying customers but still.. WTH? Well I must go for now, if you do not hear from me in a few days do not worry I am hiding under the bunk beds.. I'm sure there are enough sippys and animal crackers under there to keep me nourished for at least a week... LOL!

The Best Day Ever

My kids absolutely LOVE this song... and it really does send a good message.

Sense Sational Cooking

Tonight I decided to do some fun cooking... As most of you know my home is blessed w/ sensory activities for several hours a day.. so I thought I would try out some of the famous recipes I've had laying around for things like Silly Putty, and Playdough.. well I started with Silly Putty.

I looked at the recipie and it had two columns, column A and column B. Me being the genius that I am did not read the entire recipie and figured that it was two variation of the recipie and both would result in silly putty. I measured my glue and poured it into a mixing bowl, only to discover that you had to make both A and B then mix them together. I didn't have all the ingredients for A so there I was stuck with B and no A . I poured the glue into a smaller bowl and moved on to the Gloop recipe... simple equal parts cornstarch and water... well I followed that recipe precisely and didn't get gloop I got orange water... did I give up? No The X Mom never gives up.

I thought fast and dumped my small bowl of Elmers glue into the cornstarch water and mixed it up... This gave me very sticky orange liquid... DUH!! No way are my boys going to like this I thought. So I began racking my brain for something that would help dry up the liquid but not get sticky and it hit me SALT!!! So I ran to the pantry and got a container of salt and dumped half of it into the mixture and it turned out AMAZING!! I ended up with squishy crumbly orange goodness, the texture is similar to scrambled eggs... I'm considering this experiment an act of true genius creativity.. if this recipe already exists please do not tell me let me have my moment.

Here's the recipe in case any of you would like to make it on purpose... LOL!

1c Cornstarch
1 c Water
Foodcolor
Salt-
1-2c Elmers Glue
Thoroughly mix cornstarch, water glue and food color, add salt until desired texture is achieved.
Hey Diane how ya like them paragraphs?? Check out Diane's blog Good Mourning Glory it's killer.

Update on the Gang

Attention all citizens of Bloggyland... The Gang Headquaters are soon to be relocated... Someone has actually found it in their hearts to overlook our not so perfect credit and sell us a house!!! No more renting for the Gang. Ugh... just a sec... Renegade Doodle has the PB out of the cabinet and is eating with his fingers straight from the jar... K I'm back helped him find a spoon. Eating out of the jar w/ a spoon is acceptable right? Hmmm maybe I should ask Nell... LOL! Yeah right... she'd probably rip me a new ______.

Please excuse me if this post his hard to follow, I'm in a random mood this eveing. Smarty Pants was sick most of last week and is still recovering from being spoiled for 4 days, Scooter still has a darn ear infection and is learning all about tantrums from his older brothers, and Renegade feeling left out of the game has been faking sick everyday a few times a day for the past 2 days.

Nell came by yesterday and well we didn't get anywhere all my structure pretty much went to s*** when Jeremy got sick, and it showed. Troy finally got called back to work after a two month layoff-- but lost $1 and hour and got stuck on 3p-11p until his old position opens back up. Excuse me again Renegade Doodle just informed that there "a mess right there" He's pointing to the floor where he just dumped a sippy full of water... guess that will teach me to give him water huh?? Well I'm off to clean that up...Hopefully I shall return... Oh one more quick thing.. SP's meds have been adjusted to 15mg Focalin XR and 10mg Prozac each once daily then Melatonin at night as needed for sleep.

Yesterday we tried the plan...

Yesterday after Jeremy got home from school I tried the Game Plan, and it worked. Only two tantrums occured and they were both mild. We got to enjoy some time outside so half the rebound period was spent running... then we came inside for some sense sational fun. We started out with sparkle bags (glitter, sequins and water in ziploc bag) then we went old school and played in beans and rice. The kids made a huge mess but considering I had 6 children participating it wasn't too bad. They ALL left me alone while I prepared dinner and cleanup was fairly easy. I'm hoping that I can continue to keep the kiddos occupied and tantrums reduced during the prime hours. Wish me luck.. if you've got any great sensory ideas please share them.

Game Plan

Today I met with Nell, for a few hours to brainstorm and develop a game plan. Here's what we came up with. Thoughts and opinions greatly appreciated. Thanks.


LEAD BY EXAMPLE
Happy Consistent Persistent and Calm
Positive Tone of Voice
1. Avoid tantrums
A. Appropriate Phrases
“Good choice” “Poor choice” - Reward “good choices”
If __________ then_________
When _________ then_________
________ is not available. You may have _____ or _____
Ex. Moonsand is not available. You may have markers or play dough. * Do not add other options, keep the options that are available the same *
B. Avoiding over stimulation will decrease the likelihood of tantrums.
1. Use sensory activities to reduce over stimulation. Gives and outlet for the “extra” energy.
2. Sensory activities should be offered during “rebound period” caused by medication wearing off. Typically occurs from 3:30p till- 5:30p
2. Avoid triggers
A. No / Now
1.Find alternatives such as “ You may not bite me you may ______ .

3. Reward positive behavior
A. “Catch” children behaving positively and give verbal praise and / or small rewards such as stickers.
B. Define “nice” with concrete examples instead of just saying “be nice”.
Ex. “Be nice, give PERSON a THING (hug, kiss, toy etc.)

4. General House Rules
A. Table Rules
1. “Sit right”
2. When eating you must stay at the table, if you get up your “finished”
B. When coming in from outside:
1. Hang up coat and backpack
2. Put shoes away.
C. No "hurting"

We will be following these guidelines over the next few weeks and monitoring changes in the boys behavior.. I'll keep you all posted.

Wordless Wednesday

Ignoring is bliss

I have truly missed bloggyland. I have been so tied up in trying all these new techniquest with the boys that I am too tired at the end of the day to blog. Plus I am trying to stick to the rule of NO COMPUTER while the kids are awake.. and yes I am cheating right now. The technique that has been the most effective is also the hardest to follow through with, and that is ignoring. I never thought that ignoring a childs misbehavior would be so draining and hard to do. Nell is showing me the in's and out's of ignoring and the proper way to do it... I giggled at her when she first mentioned ignoring the kids to me.. but she has it all broken down to a science. Smarty Pants is putting Nell and I both to the test daily... to see if we really can ignore him for long periods of screaming, hitting, throwing things, destroying his room.. and many other misbehaviors.. and so far I have been successful.. It is such a weird feeling to be proud of ... YEP I said it I AM PROUD OF MYSELF FOR IGNORING MY CHILDREN... LOL! This is off topic but I just choked on my coffee and spewed it all over the floor beside me... thinking maybe a higher power doesn't think the ignoring is such a hot idea... hmmm.. Well I just wanted to update you all and let you know that the boys and I are doing well. I still have hair and the boys are breathing.. Troy on the other hand may no longer be with us if he doesn't get his shit together and get on board with the programs. But that's an entire post on its own.. Look for my upcoming post about my girls night out adventure that I had Friday night.. it's truly hilarious.

Wordless Wednesday

First Day Hands On..

After months of begging and pleading and filling out paperwork my family was finally approved for in home behavioral therapy services. Services began last Monday and to be honest I was a bit skeptical when she left two cd's from the Total Transformation Program (the one you see on late night infomercials) But the disc had some valid points and it's not all the therapist has up her sleeve. Yesterday after she left things didn't really go as planned and Hubby and I argued most of the evening because I was stressing because he wasn't following the *ground rules*. Which are NO TV OR COMPUTER WHILE THE CHILDREN ARE AWAKE... I am considering rehab for my blogging addiction... LOL! Nell (Therapist) leaves assignments for us each time she visits and then we report how things went... so far it has been pretty easy but today she left my first hands on down and dirty assignment.. I had to start implementing some of the techniques she demonstrated.. It's pretty basic stuff, ignoring tantrums, rewarding positive behavior, following thru with commands and directions. MY PERSONAL ASSIGNMENTS: 2 days of 30 min workout, Apply for Pell Grant- check on childcare funds that are paid via Pell Grant, Tell children what to do not ask them ( I have a bad habit of saying why don't you.... instead of go do... ) These are to be completed by Thurs. Implementing the techniques was harder than I had expected but was tremendously rewarding. They didn't work at first and still aren't working entirely but even in one afternoon things have changed. My children haven't changed but my self esteem has sky rocketed I have more confidence as a parent. I have come to the conclusion that I need to take a "single mom" approach to parenting even though I am not single. I can no longer blame my husbands parenting issues on why I lack effective parenting skills.. I must hold myself accountable for my actions and decisions as a parent. Well I must go.. I have PECS charts to work on and Nell will rip me a new one if my homework isn't finished... For those of you have children with behavior problems what works best for you? How do you handle tantrums? What is your bedtime routine? What ground rules do you have in your home?

Weiner Confusion

I was watching my absolute favorite show Chelsea Lately and she commented on this story. Apparently a Russian man had his penis bitten off by a raccoon.. What kind of man puts his penis near a raccoon??? Surely it wasn't the raccoons fault I mean she probably thought it was an Oscar Mayer Weiner not a Russian one.... I'm sure that those pervs over at PETA had something to do with this.

If the raccoon was posed like this she was asking for it.... LOL!!!

What Song Was Number 1 When...

What song was number one when you were born??? The number one hit when I entered this world was "Billie Jean" by Michael Jackson To find out what was number one when you were born click here... Visit Coming To You From The Land of Ahhs.. to see what was number one when Bloggymommy was born.

Music Monday

I love this song... It's one of my cleaning songs... you know one of those where your mop or broom becomes your mic... Don't act like you don't know what I'm talkin' bout.. For more Music Monday check out this post over at Posh Totty

Got Brains?

Okay so I was watching TV with my wonderful husband and I realized that I'm just not that smart. How did I come to this realization you ask, well let me break it down for you...

The first thing we watched was a cave special... and they mentioned fresh water wells, and I said

"Fresh water whales?? I didn't know there was such a mammal?" Hubby says "wells"

and I again say yeah I heard it "whales" hubby then spells it out for me " W E L L S"

I say " Oh, wells. Duh! " and giggle.

Next... we're watching the same segment and they start talking about some animal that resembles a ferret.. we'll call it Ferret's Cousin (FC)

So anyway they are discussing how the spring is the best time for FC to look for food, and show one eating a bird egg, then it goes on to say that they stalk squirrels and show some confusing footage of the FC eyeing the squirrels nuts, (get your minds out of the gutter not those nuts the acorns)

. Anyway the camera man shows two squirrels getting down n dirty in the pine trees and then one by himself... The FC attacks the one that is alone and well eats it. During this process I was confused as to whether the FC was going to eat the squirrels or just eat the nuts the squirrels left unattended while pokin in the pines. So once I see the FC eating the squirrel I say to hubby "Oh so he eats meats and veggies huh" before hubby can open his mouth I say " well technically he ate an egg so that's dairy right? " You see my logic I was thinking basic food groups and eggs are in the dairy group... Hubby laughs and says " I love you" .

What my family needs

Anne over at Small Town Mommy gave me this wonderful idea that she got from Sherrie over at Boogers, Screams, Headaches, and Dreams What I did was google our first names followed by needs and here are the results...

The X Mom ( Bethany )
*needs a new liver or she'll be dead by Christmas
*needs a middle name
*needs you

Okay my husbands results are much more funny
His first search result is from the website PoopReport... LOL that is too darn funny and at that website it said Troy needs a job... which is true.. my hubby just got laid off a few weeks ago
Next result was Troy needs Rehab....
and last was Troy needs Dog Runs..

As for the gang
Smarty Pants ( Jermey ) needs :
*Guidance to grow into a man
*anger management (under video results)
* a job in NYC

Renegade Doodle (William ) needs:
*more funds for crackdown
*a new drummer for his band
*to sort out his life

Scooter (James) needs:
*a hat petition
*rotten tomatoes
*to work a miracle

Wordless Wednesday

Don't look at this pic too long you might get Lazinitus.... it's very contagious and according to my husband it's a chronic illness. Check out more Wordless Wednesday.