I Got This!

Finally I have some control! Yeah that's right I said control. The Gang members have been going through Behavior Bootcamp as most of you know, and I'm finally getting to take my turn as the Drill Sargent formerly a rotating position between Renegade Doodle and Smarty Pants. Bedtime is a piece of cake, all members of the Gang have been in their own beds asleep by 8:30 at the latest w/o tears, screaming, kicking or hair pulling. So I've been slipping a little melatonin in the snack time sippy but everyone needs a little assistance once in awhile. The melatonin isn't enough to knock them out but calms them enough to sit and listen to a story or watch a movie.

RD's aggression is being handled by putting him in the highchair for time out until he is calm, we decided not to give him any type of play dough or putty, but he can have something to bite on. When the time out is over he has to apologize and hug whoever he hurt.. even if it was the dog. This is working very well and he is getting it... He proved that he knows what hurting is and that there is now a consequence for it today when he accidentally knocked Scooter down. As soon as Scooter fell William looked at me then immediately hugged and apologized to Scooter. He LOOKED AT ME!!! YAY! He wanted to see if he was going to be put in the highchair... YES! So I explained to him that it was an accident.

Smarty Pants on the other hand is giving defiance his all and bucking like a Bronco. The hardest time frame is during his "rebound period". I can manage to talk him thru frustration and prevent tantrums for awhile but eventually the Big T occurs. Nell and I are working on this and so far I'm still at a loss. She has wonderful ideas and strategies but some of them I don't feel are practical for my situation but something has to be done. We might go back to ignoring, that seemed to be working. To do this Nell and I are going to need to spend time teaching the daycare kids to ignore SP when he's having a tantrum. I am seeing improvement, the Big T's are not as severe, and are not lasting nearly as long. Woo Hoo.. so we are getting somewhere.

Basically what I'm trying to say is " I got this" and doing it on my own feels awesome! This is the first time in my life where I haven't felt dependant on my husband to enforce the rules. I actually turned down his offer to help me and TOLD him to go WATCH TV!!!

What's Working For You?

As most you know my family is currently working with a behavior specialist to reduce problem behaviors. Our biggest battle right now is with Renegade Doodle. His aggression is steadily getting worse, and he is seeking out others when he is angry, or upset. The cause of his anger does not change the outcome, it is always expressed with violence. Ideally we would like to avoid anger fueled tantrums / meltdowns, but they are occurring instantly after being denied a request. Giving him everything he requests ALL the time would worsen the situation, so I always provide alternative choices if what he is requesting is unavailable. Choices are not working with RD... he wants what he wants.

I spoke with his teacher this AM and she feels that timeouts will eventually be effective, however to follow thru with timeouts at home he has to be put in a highchair, otherwise time out is a game of cat and mouse. I don't have a problem w/ putting him in the high chair but I do have a problem with him hurting himself while in the chair. He bites the side of his hand along the bottom of his thumb and has started to draw blood. He is also pulling his hair, but so far no significant hair loss.

Mrs. Teacher and I are thinking about giving him silly putty or playdough while in the highchair, but these are both things he really enjoys and we don't want to reward the misbehavior, but would the silly putty and playdough be calming and help? This is where we are stumped... What do you mom's think? If he is in the chair and it calms him down and makes the timeout last only the 3minutes instead of him continuing to tantrum and it lasting 20 + min. The rule I was told to follow w/ timeout is you don't come out until your calm... regardless of length. For those of you who use timeout is that how you follow thru w/ it? If not what are your strategies?

Bedtime Routines

What are your routines at bedtime? What have you found that works best, and what hasn't worked for you?

Ugh....

Today has been exhausting and it's still not over for me yet! I am taking a small breather before sending the boys to bed. I had lots of extras today, There were 6 or more children in my house allday... we hit an all time high at 9 at 5:30 and well there are still 8!!! 3 are my Gang, 2 are Smarty Pants sisters from his dad's new marriage, and the other 3 are kids I sit for plus their older sister who normally isn't here. It's official I have lost all my marbles.. who in their right mind willingly lets 7 extra children into their home.. Okay so some of them are paying customers but still.. WTH? Well I must go for now, if you do not hear from me in a few days do not worry I am hiding under the bunk beds.. I'm sure there are enough sippys and animal crackers under there to keep me nourished for at least a week... LOL!

Update on the Gang

Attention all citizens of Bloggyland... The Gang Headquaters are soon to be relocated... Someone has actually found it in their hearts to overlook our not so perfect credit and sell us a house!!! No more renting for the Gang. Ugh... just a sec... Renegade Doodle has the PB out of the cabinet and is eating with his fingers straight from the jar... K I'm back helped him find a spoon. Eating out of the jar w/ a spoon is acceptable right? Hmmm maybe I should ask Nell... LOL! Yeah right... she'd probably rip me a new ______.

Please excuse me if this post his hard to follow, I'm in a random mood this eveing. Smarty Pants was sick most of last week and is still recovering from being spoiled for 4 days, Scooter still has a darn ear infection and is learning all about tantrums from his older brothers, and Renegade feeling left out of the game has been faking sick everyday a few times a day for the past 2 days.

Nell came by yesterday and well we didn't get anywhere all my structure pretty much went to s*** when Jeremy got sick, and it showed. Troy finally got called back to work after a two month layoff-- but lost $1 and hour and got stuck on 3p-11p until his old position opens back up. Excuse me again Renegade Doodle just informed that there "a mess right there" He's pointing to the floor where he just dumped a sippy full of water... guess that will teach me to give him water huh?? Well I'm off to clean that up...Hopefully I shall return... Oh one more quick thing.. SP's meds have been adjusted to 15mg Focalin XR and 10mg Prozac each once daily then Melatonin at night as needed for sleep.

Yesterday we tried the plan...

Yesterday after Jeremy got home from school I tried the Game Plan, and it worked. Only two tantrums occured and they were both mild. We got to enjoy some time outside so half the rebound period was spent running... then we came inside for some sense sational fun. We started out with sparkle bags (glitter, sequins and water in ziploc bag) then we went old school and played in beans and rice. The kids made a huge mess but considering I had 6 children participating it wasn't too bad. They ALL left me alone while I prepared dinner and cleanup was fairly easy. I'm hoping that I can continue to keep the kiddos occupied and tantrums reduced during the prime hours. Wish me luck.. if you've got any great sensory ideas please share them.

Game Plan

Today I met with Nell, for a few hours to brainstorm and develop a game plan. Here's what we came up with. Thoughts and opinions greatly appreciated. Thanks.


LEAD BY EXAMPLE
Happy Consistent Persistent and Calm
Positive Tone of Voice
1. Avoid tantrums
A. Appropriate Phrases
“Good choice” “Poor choice” - Reward “good choices”
If __________ then_________
When _________ then_________
________ is not available. You may have _____ or _____
Ex. Moonsand is not available. You may have markers or play dough. * Do not add other options, keep the options that are available the same *
B. Avoiding over stimulation will decrease the likelihood of tantrums.
1. Use sensory activities to reduce over stimulation. Gives and outlet for the “extra” energy.
2. Sensory activities should be offered during “rebound period” caused by medication wearing off. Typically occurs from 3:30p till- 5:30p
2. Avoid triggers
A. No / Now
1.Find alternatives such as “ You may not bite me you may ______ .

3. Reward positive behavior
A. “Catch” children behaving positively and give verbal praise and / or small rewards such as stickers.
B. Define “nice” with concrete examples instead of just saying “be nice”.
Ex. “Be nice, give PERSON a THING (hug, kiss, toy etc.)

4. General House Rules
A. Table Rules
1. “Sit right”
2. When eating you must stay at the table, if you get up your “finished”
B. When coming in from outside:
1. Hang up coat and backpack
2. Put shoes away.
C. No "hurting"

We will be following these guidelines over the next few weeks and monitoring changes in the boys behavior.. I'll keep you all posted.

Ignoring is bliss

I have truly missed bloggyland. I have been so tied up in trying all these new techniquest with the boys that I am too tired at the end of the day to blog. Plus I am trying to stick to the rule of NO COMPUTER while the kids are awake.. and yes I am cheating right now. The technique that has been the most effective is also the hardest to follow through with, and that is ignoring. I never thought that ignoring a childs misbehavior would be so draining and hard to do. Nell is showing me the in's and out's of ignoring and the proper way to do it... I giggled at her when she first mentioned ignoring the kids to me.. but she has it all broken down to a science. Smarty Pants is putting Nell and I both to the test daily... to see if we really can ignore him for long periods of screaming, hitting, throwing things, destroying his room.. and many other misbehaviors.. and so far I have been successful.. It is such a weird feeling to be proud of ... YEP I said it I AM PROUD OF MYSELF FOR IGNORING MY CHILDREN... LOL! This is off topic but I just choked on my coffee and spewed it all over the floor beside me... thinking maybe a higher power doesn't think the ignoring is such a hot idea... hmmm.. Well I just wanted to update you all and let you know that the boys and I are doing well. I still have hair and the boys are breathing.. Troy on the other hand may no longer be with us if he doesn't get his shit together and get on board with the programs. But that's an entire post on its own.. Look for my upcoming post about my girls night out adventure that I had Friday night.. it's truly hilarious.

First Day Hands On..

After months of begging and pleading and filling out paperwork my family was finally approved for in home behavioral therapy services. Services began last Monday and to be honest I was a bit skeptical when she left two cd's from the Total Transformation Program (the one you see on late night infomercials) But the disc had some valid points and it's not all the therapist has up her sleeve. Yesterday after she left things didn't really go as planned and Hubby and I argued most of the evening because I was stressing because he wasn't following the *ground rules*. Which are NO TV OR COMPUTER WHILE THE CHILDREN ARE AWAKE... I am considering rehab for my blogging addiction... LOL! Nell (Therapist) leaves assignments for us each time she visits and then we report how things went... so far it has been pretty easy but today she left my first hands on down and dirty assignment.. I had to start implementing some of the techniques she demonstrated.. It's pretty basic stuff, ignoring tantrums, rewarding positive behavior, following thru with commands and directions. MY PERSONAL ASSIGNMENTS: 2 days of 30 min workout, Apply for Pell Grant- check on childcare funds that are paid via Pell Grant, Tell children what to do not ask them ( I have a bad habit of saying why don't you.... instead of go do... ) These are to be completed by Thurs. Implementing the techniques was harder than I had expected but was tremendously rewarding. They didn't work at first and still aren't working entirely but even in one afternoon things have changed. My children haven't changed but my self esteem has sky rocketed I have more confidence as a parent. I have come to the conclusion that I need to take a "single mom" approach to parenting even though I am not single. I can no longer blame my husbands parenting issues on why I lack effective parenting skills.. I must hold myself accountable for my actions and decisions as a parent. Well I must go.. I have PECS charts to work on and Nell will rip me a new one if my homework isn't finished... For those of you have children with behavior problems what works best for you? How do you handle tantrums? What is your bedtime routine? What ground rules do you have in your home?

I would like to thank Veronica Lee over at Of Mice and raMen for giving me my very first bloggy award.

The rules for this award are as follows...
Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
Show the 7 winners' names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap". Well, there is no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.
List at least ten honest things about yourself.

1. I have struggled with Bipolar Disorder most of my life. It has been an uphill battle. I have been hospitalized twice in the past 3 years due to issues realted to my Bipolar Disorder

2. I enjoy having a few drinks with the girls every now and then... and for me a few is at least six. My favorite drink is a Margarita, preferably made with Patron Tequilla but Jose' Cuervo will work if money is tight.

3. Sometimes I feel burnt out on being a SAHM.

4. People often think I'm unsympathetic because I can find humor in ANYTHING, and often laugh when it's inappropraite.

5. I read Oprah magaizine religiously

6. I love the stand up comedy of Chelsea Handler (explicit) I also love her show Chelsea Lately

7. If someone else touches my computer I get jealous... LOL!

8. It's not unusual for there to be 6 or more screaming kids at my house... can't tell you why their screaming... even I'm not that honest.

9. I worry a lot about my childrens future.

10. My best friends are online...

I'm passing this award to:

Hollys Mom @ Holly Daze

Sarah @ Thoughts From the Bowl

Sissy @ My Kids Might Be Martians

Beth @ Fragile What!?

Tamara @ X Marks My Fragile World

Jacie @ Momstuff

And....... a fellow Fraggle mom @ Love and Survival with Fragile X

Turds n Tootsies

As I was changing the 3rd poopy diaper in the last two hours it occurred to me just how full of s*** my life is, in a literal sense. Everytime I turn around I am dealing with some form of poo. I am constantly trying to determine if I am getting ready to pick up a chewed up spit out tootsie roll or a turd. How do I make the decision… well sometimes a sniff test is required. Why is determination necessary? It is necessary to determine which you are picking up, turd or tootsie because if it’s a turd a search and flush mission for the rest of the turds must begin immediately, as you all know there‘s never just one. If it is a tootsie they can wait till someone steps in them to be found. Some of you may wonder why I would be picking a turd up off the FLOOR in the first place, and who’s turd is it. To cure your curiosity, I am picking up turds because
1. The dog pooped on the floor (these are easily identifiable and do not require sniffing )
2. One of the gang members decided diapers / underwear are not needed and have removed such items without taking his pants off therefore I don’t notice it is missing.
3. Gang members have decided that I am not needed to handle stinky situations and take care of it themselves, letting the turds fall out as they take off their diaper or underwear while walking around.
4. Gang mascots have put turds on their menu under snacks, and dug dirty diapers out of the pail, distributing turds on the floor as I chase them.
5. Gang members have made it to the potty but wanted to see how big the first turd was so they get up off the potty to look before they are finished, the rest of the turds landing on the floor.
* I could go on and on about this but I must go, Scooter is poopy and Renegade Doodle is on the potty screaming about the size of the turd he just made. Just so you know… it’s a special turd he’s making it just for me * Is it wrong that I am going to enter the bathroom excited about the turd in the potty and tell him what a wonderful turd it is and how happy I am that he made it just for me *

I'm It

Well as many of you have probably noticed I haven't visited bloggyland in quite sometime... but my dear friend Sarah over at The Zoo tagged me in her most recent game.. So heres the deal I had to go to my 4th picture folder and post the 4th picture... So here it is

This is me and my best friend Krystal at a bar.... Ahh.. memories!!

Here's my Four. Go to the 4th picture file on your puter' and then post the 4th pic in that file...

Fragile What!?

My Kids Might Be Martians

Holly Daze

Adventures In Holland

Late Night Search for the "Special Spot"

Last night at approximately 1:30 AM The X Mom was seen outdoors in her PJ’s. She appeared to be yelling at two large rats. The rats were later found to be the newest members of the X Mom Gang Pup Pup and Zoey. X Mom was upset because the dogs were having trouble finding their “special spot”. You know that one spot in the yard that smells just right for pooping. After several minutes of sniffing and no pooping she began getting frustrated with the dogs and yelled for them to come in, living up to their recent gang membership the dogs didn’t listen. X Mom debated on weather or not she should attempt to catch them or just wait until the “special spot” was discovered and all pooping was finished. Eventually she decided on waiting it out. She waited, and waited until finally Pup Pup unloaded and ran to the bottom of the porch. Now both Pup Pup and X Mom waited on Zoey who apparently loves her poo too much to just let it go anywhere. Suddenly Zoey lifted her nose in the air catching a whiff of her “special spot” and off she goes running full speed to the neighbors yard, setting off the neighbors dog, a boxer who hates it when any other animals enter his turf.
What do you think happened next….. Did X Mom run into the neighbors yard to rescue Zoey from her demise… Did Zoey stand up to the boxer and hold her own… Have funeral arrangements been made…

Newest Members of The X Mom Gang

The X Mom gang has recruited two new members, Zoey and Pup Pup. These two wonderful Daschunds were given to the gang by Smarty Pants's sperm donor! The X Mom herself didn't have the heart to tell the Gang that no new recruits were needed at this time. Maybe these two will spice things up around here, they've been dare I say "boring" lately.

Xceptional Inspiration

This is not your typical X Mom blog, but I felt that I must share with readers what a wonderful experience I had this morning at James Madison Universities Child Adolescent Psychological Services department. I met a wonderful man there Dr. T. He has been the most helpful out of all the professionals I have ever met.

Playing Tag..Seven Random Things About Me

I was tagged by FXSMom over at Fragile What!?
1. I have 3 tatoos: A sun on my ankle, a moon on my shoulder and a butterfly on my lower back
2. I will only drink coffee if I have French Vanilla liquid creamer
3. My dream career is to become a special education teacher, second choice would be pediatric nursing.
4. I regret having my tubes tied.
5. I have my tongue pierced
6. I have been a SAHM for almost 5 years now.
7. I follow Flylady faithfully.

The X Mom Has Lost IT...

Most Recent Vacation

On the night of September 13th members of The X Mom gang were overheard talking in their secret tongue, Bubble Bath Babble. The X Mom suspected that they were planning her next trip to the Islands of Crazy, these trips are always last minute but never really a surprise. Her alarm clock was set for 8:00 AM on Sunday the 14th, but she was awakened by a smack in the face from young Scooter at 5:07 AM. She thought to herself, “yep definitely taking a trip today”. Scooter would not go back to sleep and was joined by the rest of the gang around 6:00 AM. The X Mom deciding to make the best of an early start, gathered up some laundry and headed to the basement to start a load. The gang acted fast while she was gone, helping themselves to very large bowls of cereal. When their mother entered the kitchen she was shocked, but not by all the cereal on the counter, the large amounts of milk on the floor, or Renegade Doodles licking the milk up off the floor pretending to be a dog of course while nakey. What shocked her was that the boys chose unsweetened cheerios instead of the Coco Crunchies they had insisted on during the last grocery trip. She cleaned up the mess and put the gang in the living room and headed for the shower. When she stepped out of the shower all she could hear was silence, which all moms know silence is never good. She dressed quickly and came out into the living room only to find three very sweet boys watching TV just as she had left them. Hmmm she thought there must be a mess somewhere, but there was none. Oh no she thought they are saving their energy for something big. The X Mom reports that the boys began driving her to the Islands around noon, this time Hershey “The Growler” and Sniffer “Spoiled Pup” Chase were recruited by the gang for entertainment. Her trip began with the usual, a few rounds of “Let’s Get Nakey” “Poo Poo Patties”, followed by Sniffer’s favorite “ Taste of Victoria”. For those of you who are unfamiliar with “Taste of Victoria” playing is easy, just grab your best Victoria’s Secret bra, particularly the one that makes your breast look like they did before you had and breastfed your babies; hand it to your dog and let him chew it up. The X Mom gang became bored with these games around 4 P.M and decided it was time to play “No Me Not”, we asked The X Mom to explain how this game works, but she informed us that was not necessary all SAHM’s are experts and play several rounds daily. It was after round five of “No Me Not” when The X Mom realized they had passed the exit to Crazy and she was now going to end up visiting The Bridge of Insanity instead.

Underage Posession and Distribution

At approximately 8 p.m. on the night of September, 7 known member of The X Mom gang Renegade Doodle was caught by Parental Authorities (PA) and charged with Underage Possession and Distribution of Carpet Fresh. Renegade Doodle was tried in Parental Court immediately. He plead guilty. His exact words were " My fault. I sorry. I clean up." PA's could not agree on the sentencing for such a crime. The female PA felt that all charges should be dropped because Renegade Doodle did apologize and it was she who left the Carpet Fresh out on the counter. The male PA felt that Renegade Doodle knew that he was doing wrong and should be given lights out early. After several minutes of discussion, the female PA won, which isn't surprising, and all charges were dropped against Renegade Doodle.

Letter to Renegade Doodle

Dearest Renegade Doodle,
As I was rocking you back to sleep around two o’clock this morning, I was brought to tears as I realized how much you have grown since you were born nearly three years ago. You’ve gotten taller, your fat baby legs have gone away, and you’ve developed quite a personality. Sometimes you behave in ways only I can understand, and you do things that cause me to see horns instead of a halo, but what fun would my day be if you didn’t. You force me to laugh with your cute sayings and smiling face when I’d rather cry. It wasn’t until this morning that I noticed how with each passing day you want to be held less and less. I must face the fact that you are getting older, and becoming a big boy. It is hard for me to let go of your hand as we walk up the steps, but you no longer need it. Putting you on the bus for school was very emotional for me. I didn’t want to let you go. A part me feels cheated because you had to start school so young, I wanted you at home all day for five years not three. Selfish I know, but every mother is when it comes to time with her babies. I hope that I am able to continue letting go when I need to, no matter how much I want to hold on. You make it clear to me several times a day that you want to be independent, I hope that desire continues to grow stronger. Our relationship will surely change as the years go by, and you will no longer want me to be as involved as I would like, but please my Renegade Doodle remember that I love you and will no matter what path you choose to follow in life; and I will always be glad that you are one of the gang.

"Where's Your Pee Pee"

The oldest member of The X Mom gang, “Smarty Pants” accidentally saw his mother just as she was getting out of the shower. Mrs. Euglow told “Smarty Pants” to leave the bathroom and she would be out in a minute. He left the room, but continued to peek without his mother seeing him. When Mrs. Euglow was finished getting dressed she walked over to her bed and sat down beside Smarty Pants. Smarty Pants looked at his mother and giggled. “What’s so funny?” asked his mother. He replies with “Where’s your Pee Pee?” His mother points to the TV and says “right there” thinking she misunderstood what Smarty Pants said. Smarty Pants then says “that not a pee pee.” This time his mother clearly understands what he his referring to and decided to keep things simple and replies “ I don’t have a pee pee.” Instead of asking why Smarty Pants asks “Did it hurt” sighing with relief, thinking the subject has changed to a bruise on her leg or something his mother asks “Did what hurt?” “Did hurt when cut it off?” was Smarty Pants next sentence.