I would like to thank Veronica Lee over at Of Mice and raMen for giving me my very first bloggy award.

The rules for this award are as follows...
Choose a minimum of 7 blogs that you find brilliant in content or design.
Show the 7 winners' names and links on your blog, and leave a comment informing them that they were prized with "Honest Scrap". Well, there is no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon.
List at least ten honest things about yourself.

1. I have struggled with Bipolar Disorder most of my life. It has been an uphill battle. I have been hospitalized twice in the past 3 years due to issues realted to my Bipolar Disorder

2. I enjoy having a few drinks with the girls every now and then... and for me a few is at least six. My favorite drink is a Margarita, preferably made with Patron Tequilla but Jose' Cuervo will work if money is tight.

3. Sometimes I feel burnt out on being a SAHM.

4. People often think I'm unsympathetic because I can find humor in ANYTHING, and often laugh when it's inappropraite.

5. I read Oprah magaizine religiously

6. I love the stand up comedy of Chelsea Handler (explicit) I also love her show Chelsea Lately

7. If someone else touches my computer I get jealous... LOL!

8. It's not unusual for there to be 6 or more screaming kids at my house... can't tell you why their screaming... even I'm not that honest.

9. I worry a lot about my childrens future.

10. My best friends are online...

I'm passing this award to:

Hollys Mom @ Holly Daze

Sarah @ Thoughts From the Bowl

Sissy @ My Kids Might Be Martians

Beth @ Fragile What!?

Tamara @ X Marks My Fragile World

Jacie @ Momstuff

And....... a fellow Fraggle mom @ Love and Survival with Fragile X

What's Playing in Their Ears??

Smarty Pants has taken a great interest in music videos. His favorites are The Zac Brown Band’s Chicken Fried and Rehab’s Bartender. He knows the complete lyrics to both, which is impressive. Renegade Doodle’s favorite song / music video is a toss up between SpongeBob Squarepants The Best Day Ever or The Wheels on The Bus. Young Scooter is infatuated with Mr. Rhino, he has to have his daily dose of Mr. Rhino like I have to have my coffee. Tell me what are your kiddos listening to. Are their tastes in music following in your footsteps.

Turds n Tootsies

As I was changing the 3rd poopy diaper in the last two hours it occurred to me just how full of s*** my life is, in a literal sense. Everytime I turn around I am dealing with some form of poo. I am constantly trying to determine if I am getting ready to pick up a chewed up spit out tootsie roll or a turd. How do I make the decision… well sometimes a sniff test is required. Why is determination necessary? It is necessary to determine which you are picking up, turd or tootsie because if it’s a turd a search and flush mission for the rest of the turds must begin immediately, as you all know there‘s never just one. If it is a tootsie they can wait till someone steps in them to be found. Some of you may wonder why I would be picking a turd up off the FLOOR in the first place, and who’s turd is it. To cure your curiosity, I am picking up turds because
1. The dog pooped on the floor (these are easily identifiable and do not require sniffing )
2. One of the gang members decided diapers / underwear are not needed and have removed such items without taking his pants off therefore I don’t notice it is missing.
3. Gang members have decided that I am not needed to handle stinky situations and take care of it themselves, letting the turds fall out as they take off their diaper or underwear while walking around.
4. Gang mascots have put turds on their menu under snacks, and dug dirty diapers out of the pail, distributing turds on the floor as I chase them.
5. Gang members have made it to the potty but wanted to see how big the first turd was so they get up off the potty to look before they are finished, the rest of the turds landing on the floor.
* I could go on and on about this but I must go, Scooter is poopy and Renegade Doodle is on the potty screaming about the size of the turd he just made. Just so you know… it’s a special turd he’s making it just for me * Is it wrong that I am going to enter the bathroom excited about the turd in the potty and tell him what a wonderful turd it is and how happy I am that he made it just for me *

I'm It

Well as many of you have probably noticed I haven't visited bloggyland in quite sometime... but my dear friend Sarah over at The Zoo tagged me in her most recent game.. So heres the deal I had to go to my 4th picture folder and post the 4th picture... So here it is

This is me and my best friend Krystal at a bar.... Ahh.. memories!!

Here's my Four. Go to the 4th picture file on your puter' and then post the 4th pic in that file...

Fragile What!?

My Kids Might Be Martians

Holly Daze

Adventures In Holland

Late Night Search for the "Special Spot"

Last night at approximately 1:30 AM The X Mom was seen outdoors in her PJ’s. She appeared to be yelling at two large rats. The rats were later found to be the newest members of the X Mom Gang Pup Pup and Zoey. X Mom was upset because the dogs were having trouble finding their “special spot”. You know that one spot in the yard that smells just right for pooping. After several minutes of sniffing and no pooping she began getting frustrated with the dogs and yelled for them to come in, living up to their recent gang membership the dogs didn’t listen. X Mom debated on weather or not she should attempt to catch them or just wait until the “special spot” was discovered and all pooping was finished. Eventually she decided on waiting it out. She waited, and waited until finally Pup Pup unloaded and ran to the bottom of the porch. Now both Pup Pup and X Mom waited on Zoey who apparently loves her poo too much to just let it go anywhere. Suddenly Zoey lifted her nose in the air catching a whiff of her “special spot” and off she goes running full speed to the neighbors yard, setting off the neighbors dog, a boxer who hates it when any other animals enter his turf.
What do you think happened next….. Did X Mom run into the neighbors yard to rescue Zoey from her demise… Did Zoey stand up to the boxer and hold her own… Have funeral arrangements been made…

Newest Members of The X Mom Gang

The X Mom gang has recruited two new members, Zoey and Pup Pup. These two wonderful Daschunds were given to the gang by Smarty Pants's sperm donor! The X Mom herself didn't have the heart to tell the Gang that no new recruits were needed at this time. Maybe these two will spice things up around here, they've been dare I say "boring" lately.

Xceptional Inspiration

This is not your typical X Mom blog, but I felt that I must share with readers what a wonderful experience I had this morning at James Madison Universities Child Adolescent Psychological Services department. I met a wonderful man there Dr. T. He has been the most helpful out of all the professionals I have ever met.

Playing Tag..Seven Random Things About Me

I was tagged by FXSMom over at Fragile What!?
1. I have 3 tatoos: A sun on my ankle, a moon on my shoulder and a butterfly on my lower back
2. I will only drink coffee if I have French Vanilla liquid creamer
3. My dream career is to become a special education teacher, second choice would be pediatric nursing.
4. I regret having my tubes tied.
5. I have my tongue pierced
6. I have been a SAHM for almost 5 years now.
7. I follow Flylady faithfully.

The X Mom Has Lost IT...

Most Recent Vacation

On the night of September 13th members of The X Mom gang were overheard talking in their secret tongue, Bubble Bath Babble. The X Mom suspected that they were planning her next trip to the Islands of Crazy, these trips are always last minute but never really a surprise. Her alarm clock was set for 8:00 AM on Sunday the 14th, but she was awakened by a smack in the face from young Scooter at 5:07 AM. She thought to herself, “yep definitely taking a trip today”. Scooter would not go back to sleep and was joined by the rest of the gang around 6:00 AM. The X Mom deciding to make the best of an early start, gathered up some laundry and headed to the basement to start a load. The gang acted fast while she was gone, helping themselves to very large bowls of cereal. When their mother entered the kitchen she was shocked, but not by all the cereal on the counter, the large amounts of milk on the floor, or Renegade Doodles licking the milk up off the floor pretending to be a dog of course while nakey. What shocked her was that the boys chose unsweetened cheerios instead of the Coco Crunchies they had insisted on during the last grocery trip. She cleaned up the mess and put the gang in the living room and headed for the shower. When she stepped out of the shower all she could hear was silence, which all moms know silence is never good. She dressed quickly and came out into the living room only to find three very sweet boys watching TV just as she had left them. Hmmm she thought there must be a mess somewhere, but there was none. Oh no she thought they are saving their energy for something big. The X Mom reports that the boys began driving her to the Islands around noon, this time Hershey “The Growler” and Sniffer “Spoiled Pup” Chase were recruited by the gang for entertainment. Her trip began with the usual, a few rounds of “Let’s Get Nakey” “Poo Poo Patties”, followed by Sniffer’s favorite “ Taste of Victoria”. For those of you who are unfamiliar with “Taste of Victoria” playing is easy, just grab your best Victoria’s Secret bra, particularly the one that makes your breast look like they did before you had and breastfed your babies; hand it to your dog and let him chew it up. The X Mom gang became bored with these games around 4 P.M and decided it was time to play “No Me Not”, we asked The X Mom to explain how this game works, but she informed us that was not necessary all SAHM’s are experts and play several rounds daily. It was after round five of “No Me Not” when The X Mom realized they had passed the exit to Crazy and she was now going to end up visiting The Bridge of Insanity instead.

Underage Posession and Distribution

At approximately 8 p.m. on the night of September, 7 known member of The X Mom gang Renegade Doodle was caught by Parental Authorities (PA) and charged with Underage Possession and Distribution of Carpet Fresh. Renegade Doodle was tried in Parental Court immediately. He plead guilty. His exact words were " My fault. I sorry. I clean up." PA's could not agree on the sentencing for such a crime. The female PA felt that all charges should be dropped because Renegade Doodle did apologize and it was she who left the Carpet Fresh out on the counter. The male PA felt that Renegade Doodle knew that he was doing wrong and should be given lights out early. After several minutes of discussion, the female PA won, which isn't surprising, and all charges were dropped against Renegade Doodle.

Letter to Renegade Doodle

Dearest Renegade Doodle,
As I was rocking you back to sleep around two o’clock this morning, I was brought to tears as I realized how much you have grown since you were born nearly three years ago. You’ve gotten taller, your fat baby legs have gone away, and you’ve developed quite a personality. Sometimes you behave in ways only I can understand, and you do things that cause me to see horns instead of a halo, but what fun would my day be if you didn’t. You force me to laugh with your cute sayings and smiling face when I’d rather cry. It wasn’t until this morning that I noticed how with each passing day you want to be held less and less. I must face the fact that you are getting older, and becoming a big boy. It is hard for me to let go of your hand as we walk up the steps, but you no longer need it. Putting you on the bus for school was very emotional for me. I didn’t want to let you go. A part me feels cheated because you had to start school so young, I wanted you at home all day for five years not three. Selfish I know, but every mother is when it comes to time with her babies. I hope that I am able to continue letting go when I need to, no matter how much I want to hold on. You make it clear to me several times a day that you want to be independent, I hope that desire continues to grow stronger. Our relationship will surely change as the years go by, and you will no longer want me to be as involved as I would like, but please my Renegade Doodle remember that I love you and will no matter what path you choose to follow in life; and I will always be glad that you are one of the gang.

"Where's Your Pee Pee"

The oldest member of The X Mom gang, “Smarty Pants” accidentally saw his mother just as she was getting out of the shower. Mrs. Euglow told “Smarty Pants” to leave the bathroom and she would be out in a minute. He left the room, but continued to peek without his mother seeing him. When Mrs. Euglow was finished getting dressed she walked over to her bed and sat down beside Smarty Pants. Smarty Pants looked at his mother and giggled. “What’s so funny?” asked his mother. He replies with “Where’s your Pee Pee?” His mother points to the TV and says “right there” thinking she misunderstood what Smarty Pants said. Smarty Pants then says “that not a pee pee.” This time his mother clearly understands what he his referring to and decided to keep things simple and replies “ I don’t have a pee pee.” Instead of asking why Smarty Pants asks “Did it hurt” sighing with relief, thinking the subject has changed to a bruise on her leg or something his mother asks “Did what hurt?” “Did hurt when cut it off?” was Smarty Pants next sentence.

Solitary Confinement

Renegade Doodle was given three minutes of solitary confinement for climbing on the table in his LSES cell. The head guard Mrs. Best Teacher told Renegade Doodle to get off the table, he listened but climbed on it again as soon as her back was turned. It was written in Renegade Doodles communication log that today he showed an entirely different side of himself. His mother, Bethany Euglow a.k.a The X Mom was tempted to write “I told you so” in response, but decided it would be best if she didn’t. This would however have been a very fitting comment. Mrs. Best Teacher as well as other officials at LSES had been warned of Renegade Doodle’s defiant behaviors. Mrs. Euglow’s warnings were met with disbelief. When asked how she felt about Renegade Doodle’s time in solitaire her response was “ I have to admit a part of me was ecstatic that he is finally comfortable enough to misbehave.” " I just hope he doesn't get too comfortable, too much comfort often results in nakey."

Joy Ride Ends with Hit and Run

Early on the evening of September 4, 2008 two members of The X Mom gang, Renegade Doodle and Scooter, were seen joy riding around the yard in their John Deere Gator. According to witnesses Renegade Doodle was behind the wheel when the Gator crashed into a rose bush, belonging to their Grandma. Renegade Doodle fled the scene before Parental Authorities (PA) could arrive. Scooter who was belted in the Gator, was arrested by PA at the scene. Renegade Doodle was later found underneath the porch steps, nakey. He was charged with a Hit and Run Accident (HRA) and indecent exposure (IE). This will be Renegade Doodle’s first time being charged with a HRA, but he has had numerous IE charges and will be considered a habitual offender at this point. In exchange for his help in locating Renegade Doodle no charges were pressed against Scooter. All charges were dropped, after Grandma refused to testify against Renegade Doodle, commenting later that she felt PA were to blame.

Summer on The Islands

The X Mom, Bethany Euglow was recently interviewed about her summer at home with the gang. She told interviewers that most of her summer was spent vacationing on the Islands of Crazy along with her closest SAHM pals. Mrs. Euglow informed reporters that her past times while visiting the islands were games inspired by the gang. “Let’s Get Nakey”, “Hide the Shoe” and “Find the Poopy Diaper” are some her favorites. When she wasn’t busy playing games she would enjoy some aroma therapy relaxation in the “Laundry Room Spa” or taking classes offered in Culinary Arts. Often vacations to the islands are covered by insurance companies providing visitors with access to Xanax, and one on one therapy. In order to return from Crazy several shots are required. The list is as follows two shots of Jose’ Cuervo, three shots Captain Morgan. Shot schedule must be repeated weekly. When asked what the best route to get the islands was Mrs. Euglow replied “ask the gang, they usually drive me”.

**This one needs some fine tuning, but figured I'd go ahead and post**

Oldest Members of The X Mom Gang Sentenced to 13 Years in the Virginia Department of Education LSES Unit.

August 26th was a judgment day for the oldest members of The X Mom’s gang. Jeremy “Smarty Pants” and William “Renegade Doodle” were forced to begin serving their 13 yr sentence at LSES. LSES will release the gang members in the afternoons, however they will remain under adult supervision and will not be allowed to leave the outdoor play area unless accompanied by responsible adult. It is stipulated in their sentence agreements that they must complete thirty minutes of paperwork after returning home. This stipulation did not go over well, but it was pointed out to Smarty Pants and Renegade Doodle that failure to complete assigned paperwork would result in a longer sentence, so the boys complied. Smarty Pants wasn’t worried about leaving for the day, he has served time at LSES for the past two years and a year at JCMES so he knew the drill. Renegade Doodle having never been in a vehicle without an immediate family member was hesitant to get onto a bus filled with strangers, so his mother carried him and placed him in his booster seat.
Mrs. Euglow a.k.a. The X Mom was sad to see the leaders go but underneath all her sadness was a bit of relief. Now that the older members would be gone all day certainly a few hours of relaxation could be enjoyed, or so she thought. It wasn’t long after Smarty Pants and Renegade Doodle’s departure until she realized young Scooter had been trained well.

Today I Learned So Much

Today I spent a great deal of time with my grandpa and my two oldest boys, Jeremy and William. Oh what a learning experience. This was the first time that I spent practically all day outside our home with my boys and Pap, so many of my sons behaviors were explained.
The first thing that I now have an explanation for is my boys desire to pull down their pants and pee in bushes at parking lots. Well that is exactly what Pap does when they gotta go pee. He is 75 years old so taking two boys into a store to use the bathroom just can’t happen so he pulls over to the end of the parking lot and lets them pee in the bushes.. This has been an issue with us for quite sometime and now I know why they do it. The next thing I learned is why they come home from outings with Pap hyper and excited, he feeds them chocolate bars all day and gives em’ a little Pepsi to wash em’ down, and to think I thought it was because Pap made them that happy with his personality and charm. I was way off base there. These explanations were provided while running some errands in town, once errands were over we headed for Pap’s little patch of mountain heaven we call the Hog Pen.
The Hog Pen is nothing more than a few acres of land in BFE. The first thing the boys do once we hit our private back road is get out of their car seats. Pap is okay with this because it’s a private drive in the middle of nowhere. Well my boys get out of their car seats when I have them in my van every time we are on a back country road, which is quite often, I’ve been trying to get them to stop this for some time now so I was ecstatic to find the cause of this behavior. We pull up to the camper that Pap leaves in the mountains year round and the first thing he tells the boys to do is “feed the bears”. Jeremy and William get out of the van, run across the gravel road and come back with two metal tubs. Jeremy goes into the camper and gets corn and fills his tub, and Pap opens a large barrel filled with old bread for William. The bread is still in the bags so William tears them open and dumps them in his tub.
This was great manly fun for the boys, but my dear William has brought his wonderful bread bag tearing skill home over the past few weeks. He has torn open loaf after loaf of bread, and dumped them into my large metal mixing bowl more times than I can count. I have been racking my brain trying to understand why he was doing this well now I know, and can work on getting him to understand that bread dumpin’ aint cool unless your feeding the bears. Even though Pap is the source for such poor behavior I consider myself and my boys blessed to have him in our lives. He is a wonderful man and we love him.

"Renegade Doodle" Feeding the bears "Smarty Pants" Carrying the tubs

SAHM Banned From Local Foodlion Due to Blonde Moment

SAHM Banned From Local Foodlion Due to Blonde Moment
August 14, 2008. Stay at home mom (SAHM) Bethany Euglow was banned from Timberville Foodlion. It all started when Mrs. Euglow entered the store with her three sons, William “Renegade Doodle”, James “Scooter” and Jeremy “Smarty Pants”. James the youngest of the three brothers just joined the gang after completing his initiation. Young James was forced to tear out his mothers pots and destroy the spice cabinets. What is going on in the minds of today’s youth. Luckily the gang’s mascots, Hershey “The Growler” and Sir Sniffer “Spoiled Pup” Chase were left at home. Every thing was going fine, the three boys passed the “Lays” potato chip display without a whine, and Mrs. Euglow headed for the Deli. After waiting quietly for 45 seconds at the Deli counter as a young girl slowly sliced the roast beef their mother had ordered the boys decided it was time to take action, and speed things up. “Smarty Pants” the only one of the 3 boys outside the cart looks around for something and spies the lettuce. Having been through this numerous times, his mother knew what was about to go down, and screams “no” as he races toward the lettuce “Renegade Doodle” cheers him on and “Scooter” claps with excitement as “Smarty Pants” drops one head of lettuce on the floor and begins kicking it as if it were a soccer ball. The girl behind the deli counter eyes the young boy in horror, and begins slicing faster. Mrs. Euglow chases her son through the produce department they pass the grapes, one of “Smarty Pants” weaknesses and he stops, but not for long. He reaches out his hand complete with sticky fingers grabs a bunch of grapes, and begins eating them. At this Mrs. Euglow’s face becomes flushed with rage and she begins shouting, drawing a great deal of attention to herself. Not knowing what else to do Mrs. Euglow remembers there is gum in her purse and she pulls out a piece, “Smarty Pants” stops dead in his tracks and returns to the cart. This would have been enough to make most mothers call it a day, but not Mrs. Euglow, her nerves are made of Xanax and various other legal narcotics, so she straightens her hair smiles and picks the roast beef up at the Deli. Determined to continue shopping Mrs. Euglow places two bundles of bananas in the cart and moves on to pasta aisle. “Renegade Doodles” escapes from the cart bananas in hand as his mother is trying to decide if she should buy Lipton or Rice a Roni. “Smarty Pants” joins “Renegade Doodle” in a game of tag up and down the aisle. Mrs. Euglow threw 6 boxes of Rice a Roni in the cart, counted to ten twice then headed after the boys. According to 18 year old assistant manger Steve Whogivesashit this is when he gave his first warning to Mrs. Euglow advising if such disruption continued she and her gang would need to leave the store. Mr. Whogivesashit states that Mrs. Euglow responded with what seemed to be a heartfelt apology, followed by laughter. What was amusing her so much is what inquiring minds would like to know. Was it the unruly behavior of her young gang members or the lack of manliness in young Steve’s voice? Mrs. Euglow was seen giving the young boys a serious talk. Threats were included, the boys mother threatened to put the chips back if behavior did not improve. She informed the boys that chips were not a necessity and they could live without them, looks of disbelief spread across their young faces, and “Smarty Pants” said “don’t tell me that crap”. “Renegade Doodle” hung is head in defeat as he was placed back in the cart. “Scooter” knew it was his turn, and he must out do his fellow counterparts, but how he wondered I can’t even walk yet. Thinking that things couldn’t possibly get worse, Mrs. Euglow pushes the cart towards the Frozen Food section, hoping to find some mixed veggies and a bag of parenting skills. “Scooter” notices his mother back is turned and takes advantage of this opportunity. He tears open a box of Chicken Rice a Roni, and shakes the box while laughing hysterically. “Renegade Doodle” and “Smarty Pants” know that they are about to win the war when they see their mother take several deep breaths and begin tapping her foot. “Renegade Doodle” begins yelling “Let me out!!” at the top of his lungs “Smarty Pants” is singing “Who let the dogs out” adding barking sounds whenever he feels necessary. After having witnessed theses events on the security cameras Mr. Whogivesashit approaches Mrs. Euglow once more, this time accompanied by the store manager 35 year old Mike Shouldawenttocollege. The two men politely ask Mrs. Euglow to leave the store, she agrees, but the boys aren’t going down with out a fight. Mrs. Euglow get’s “Renegade Doodle” out of the cart, and picks “Scooter” up out of the back “Smarty Pants” calls the two men “stupid shit heads” and “Renegade Doodle” gets in one good kick, hitting Mr. Shouldawenttocollege in the shin. When asked why she brought the gang into the store Mrs. Euglow, replied “I don’t know what I was thinking, guess I had a blonde moment”.

My Story- Condensed Version

I got pregnant with my first child when I was 19. Jeremy was born just after I turned 20, weighing in at 8lb 9oz and 19 inches long. I started noticing delays when he was around 4 months old. He wasn't holding his head up, he couldn't roll over and he had very weak muscle tone. So I contacted our local early intervention group and he started receiving infant education and PT by 6 months. As he got closer and closer to 2 and wasn't talking and showed delays in all other areas he was referred to a specialist at Kluge Childrens Rehabilitation Center in Charlottesville VA . The Dr's first thought was Autism, but they took one look at Jeremy and said no way he was way to social, next guess Fragile X Syndrome (FX). They said they didn't see many FX cases and that most likely he would test negative, but he didn't. I was already pregnant with my second son at this time. My family was very supportive of me when it came to Jeremy's diagnoses but only my husband (then boyfriend) was supportive of my continuing my second pregnancy. My mother and father both thought that I should terminate the pregnancy. Which never even crossed my mind. Dr's wanted me to have an amnio but I refused , my feelings were that it didn't matter if he tested postive, I was going to give birth and raise him no matter what. William was born when Jeremy was about 2 1/2 yrs old, he weighed 8lbs 4oz and was 18 inches long, gorgeous. He failed his hearing tests in his left ear, but regained hearing a few months later. He tested positve for FX at birth. He said his first word, sat up on his own and started walking all on time. He has global dealys but they aren't severe. When William was 18 months old I gave birth to my third son James, who is 15 months old. James was recenlty tested for FX, his results were negative. I get the "why'd you have more" reaction from people all the time when they know that my children are special needs. I respond with I had more because I was blessed with beautiful loving boys who make me smile a million times a day and laugh more than I smile. Sure there have been trying times but I wouldn't change a thing. I love all my boys. I did have my tubes tied after James, but have had second thoughts since it was done.