Sunday, August 31, 2008

Today I Learned So Much

Today I spent a great deal of time with my grandpa and my two oldest boys, Jeremy and William. Oh what a learning experience. This was the first time that I spent practically all day outside our home with my boys and Pap, so many of my sons behaviors were explained.
The first thing that I now have an explanation for is my boys desire to pull down their pants and pee in bushes at parking lots. Well that is exactly what Pap does when they gotta go pee. He is 75 years old so taking two boys into a store to use the bathroom just can’t happen so he pulls over to the end of the parking lot and lets them pee in the bushes.. This has been an issue with us for quite sometime and now I know why they do it. The next thing I learned is why they come home from outings with Pap hyper and excited, he feeds them chocolate bars all day and gives em’ a little Pepsi to wash em’ down, and to think I thought it was because Pap made them that happy with his personality and charm. I was way off base there. These explanations were provided while running some errands in town, once errands were over we headed for Pap’s little patch of mountain heaven we call the Hog Pen.

The Hog Pen is nothing more than a few acres of land in BFE. The first thing the boys do once we hit our private back road is get out of their car seats. Pap is okay with this because it’s a private drive in the middle of nowhere. Well my boys get out of their car seats when I have them in my van every time we are on a back country road, which is quite often, I’ve been trying to get them to stop this for some time now so I was ecstatic to find the cause of this behavior. We pull up to the camper that Pap leaves in the mountains year round and the first thing he tells the boys to do is “feed the bears”. Jeremy and William get out of the van, run across the gravel road and come back with two metal tubs. Jeremy goes into the camper and gets corn and fills his tub, and Pap opens a large barrel filled with old bread for William. The bread is still in the bags so William tears them open and dumps them in his tub.
This was great manly fun for the boys, but my dear William has brought his wonderful bread bag tearing skill home over the past few weeks. He has torn open loaf after loaf of bread, and dumped them into my large metal mixing bowl more times than I can count. I have been racking my brain trying to understand why he was doing this well now I know, and can work on getting him to understand that bread dumpin’ aint cool unless your feeding the bears. Even though Pap is the source for such poor behavior I consider myself and my boys blessed to have him in our lives. He is a wonderful man and we love him.

"Renegade Doodle" Feeding the bears "Smarty Pants" Carrying the tubs

Saturday, August 16, 2008

SAHM Banned From Local Foodlion Due to Blonde Moment

SAHM Banned From Local Foodlion Due to Blonde Moment
August 14, 2008. Stay at home mom (SAHM) Bethany Euglow was banned from Timberville Foodlion. It all started when Mrs. Euglow entered the store with her three sons, William “Renegade Doodle”, James “Scooter” and Jeremy “Smarty Pants”. James the youngest of the three brothers just joined the gang after completing his initiation. Young James was forced to tear out his mothers pots and destroy the spice cabinets. What is going on in the minds of today’s youth. Luckily the gang’s mascots, Hershey “The Growler” and Sir Sniffer “Spoiled Pup” Chase were left at home. Every thing was going fine, the three boys passed the “Lays” potato chip display without a whine, and Mrs. Euglow headed for the Deli. After waiting quietly for 45 seconds at the Deli counter as a young girl slowly sliced the roast beef their mother had ordered the boys decided it was time to take action, and speed things up. “Smarty Pants” the only one of the 3 boys outside the cart looks around for something and spies the lettuce. Having been through this numerous times, his mother knew what was about to go down, and screams “no” as he races toward the lettuce “Renegade Doodle” cheers him on and “Scooter” claps with excitement as “Smarty Pants” drops one head of lettuce on the floor and begins kicking it as if it were a soccer ball. The girl behind the deli counter eyes the young boy in horror, and begins slicing faster. Mrs. Euglow chases her son through the produce department they pass the grapes, one of “Smarty Pants” weaknesses and he stops, but not for long. He reaches out his hand complete with sticky fingers grabs a bunch of grapes, and begins eating them. At this Mrs. Euglow’s face becomes flushed with rage and she begins shouting, drawing a great deal of attention to herself. Not knowing what else to do Mrs. Euglow remembers there is gum in her purse and she pulls out a piece, “Smarty Pants” stops dead in his tracks and returns to the cart. This would have been enough to make most mothers call it a day, but not Mrs. Euglow, her nerves are made of Xanax and various other legal narcotics, so she straightens her hair smiles and picks the roast beef up at the Deli. Determined to continue shopping Mrs. Euglow places two bundles of bananas in the cart and moves on to pasta aisle. “Renegade Doodles” escapes from the cart bananas in hand as his mother is trying to decide if she should buy Lipton or Rice a Roni. “Smarty Pants” joins “Renegade Doodle” in a game of tag up and down the aisle. Mrs. Euglow threw 6 boxes of Rice a Roni in the cart, counted to ten twice then headed after the boys. According to 18 year old assistant manger Steve Whogivesashit this is when he gave his first warning to Mrs. Euglow advising if such disruption continued she and her gang would need to leave the store. Mr. Whogivesashit states that Mrs. Euglow responded with what seemed to be a heartfelt apology, followed by laughter. What was amusing her so much is what inquiring minds would like to know. Was it the unruly behavior of her young gang members or the lack of manliness in young Steve’s voice? Mrs. Euglow was seen giving the young boys a serious talk. Threats were included, the boys mother threatened to put the chips back if behavior did not improve. She informed the boys that chips were not a necessity and they could live without them, looks of disbelief spread across their young faces, and “Smarty Pants” said “don’t tell me that crap”. “Renegade Doodle” hung is head in defeat as he was placed back in the cart. “Scooter” knew it was his turn, and he must out do his fellow counterparts, but how he wondered I can’t even walk yet. Thinking that things couldn’t possibly get worse, Mrs. Euglow pushes the cart towards the Frozen Food section, hoping to find some mixed veggies and a bag of parenting skills. “Scooter” notices his mother back is turned and takes advantage of this opportunity. He tears open a box of Chicken Rice a Roni, and shakes the box while laughing hysterically. “Renegade Doodle” and “Smarty Pants” know that they are about to win the war when they see their mother take several deep breaths and begin tapping her foot. “Renegade Doodle” begins yelling “Let me out!!” at the top of his lungs “Smarty Pants” is singing “Who let the dogs out” adding barking sounds whenever he feels necessary. After having witnessed theses events on the security cameras Mr. Whogivesashit approaches Mrs. Euglow once more, this time accompanied by the store manager 35 year old Mike Shouldawenttocollege. The two men politely ask Mrs. Euglow to leave the store, she agrees, but the boys aren’t going down with out a fight. Mrs. Euglow get’s “Renegade Doodle” out of the cart, and picks “Scooter” up out of the back “Smarty Pants” calls the two men “stupid shit heads” and “Renegade Doodle” gets in one good kick, hitting Mr. Shouldawenttocollege in the shin. When asked why she brought the gang into the store Mrs. Euglow, replied “I don’t know what I was thinking, guess I had a blonde moment”.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

My Story- Condensed Version

I got pregnant with my first child when I was 19. Jeremy was born just after I turned 20, weighing in at 8lb 9oz and 19 inches long. I started noticing delays when he was around 4 months old. He wasn't holding his head up, he couldn't roll over and he had very weak muscle tone. So I contacted our local early intervention group and he started receiving infant education and PT by 6 months. As he got closer and closer to 2 and wasn't talking and showed delays in all other areas he was referred to a specialist at Kluge Childrens Rehabilitation Center in Charlottesville VA . The Dr's first thought was Autism, but they took one look at Jeremy and said no way he was way to social, next guess Fragile X Syndrome (FX). They said they didn't see many FX cases and that most likely he would test negative, but he didn't. I was already pregnant with my second son at this time. My family was very supportive of me when it came to Jeremy's diagnoses but only my husband (then boyfriend) was supportive of my continuing my second pregnancy. My mother and father both thought that I should terminate the pregnancy. Which never even crossed my mind. Dr's wanted me to have an amnio but I refused , my feelings were that it didn't matter if he tested postive, I was going to give birth and raise him no matter what. William was born when Jeremy was about 2 1/2 yrs old, he weighed 8lbs 4oz and was 18 inches long, gorgeous. He failed his hearing tests in his left ear, but regained hearing a few months later. He tested positve for FX at birth. He said his first word, sat up on his own and started walking all on time. He has global dealys but they aren't severe. When William was 18 months old I gave birth to my third son James, who is 15 months old. James was recenlty tested for FX, his results were negative. I get the "why'd you have more" reaction from people all the time when they know that my children are special needs. I respond with I had more because I was blessed with beautiful loving boys who make me smile a million times a day and laugh more than I smile. Sure there have been trying times but I wouldn't change a thing. I love all my boys. I did have my tubes tied after James, but have had second thoughts since it was done.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Poem- You and I

You and I

I am strong, but you see weak.
I have a voice but you do not hear me
I can learn if your willing to teach me
You can learn from me if your willing to be taught
You and I are the same but you treat me differently
I have small feet but they can fill big shoes
I am faced with mountains, you call them mole hills.
I have limited patience, you are impatient with me.
You expect me to seek friendship, but you don’t want to be my friend.
You wonder why I am staring at you, it’s because you won’t stop looking at me.
I want to love you, but you don’t want to like me.
I am Fragile, you see broken
I am a child, and you are all around me.
-Bethany Euglow

March 18 2007 Better or Worse

Today could have been better but it could have been worse. I've got the flu so I'm extra tired. William woke up at 5 a.m. so we watched Diego video's till around 8, when I'd had enough and woke hubby up. Hubby moaned and groaned and didn't want to get up with him, but I didn't give in. Finally he rolled his lazy ass out of bed and I went back to bed. I woke up around noon, to find William in the crib asleep and hubby is gone. I don't mean outside gone I mean got in the car and left. I'm pissed, he could have at least left a note. So I call his cell, VM picks up directly. I don't leave a message. I don't have the energy to deal with it so I go on with the day as best I can. All day long I'm thinking about the cussing I'm going to give him the minute he walks in the door. Finally he calls me around 6:30 p.m wanting to know if I need anything from Foodlion, I say no and hang up. He gets home I try to ignore him, and he asks "are you mad at me??" I'm thinking that's a stupid question. I reply "yea I'm mad, I've been home sick all day with these kids, your so selfish, you don't care about anybody but yourself." Then I shut up because I don't want to get into a heated argument. He just kinda looks at me, I'm sitting on the floor with my hair half up half down, and kids hanging on me. I just start crying. He sits down on the floor beside me and suggests we watch a movie. We do and he rubs my shoulders. Then he actually gets off his butt and helps me, he gave the boys a bath, cleaned their room, and vacuumed. And now he's at Foodlion buying me Vanilla ice cream and rootbeer. So like I said it could have been better but could've been worse.

March 16 2007 - Dr's Ofc, Blockbuster and Foodlion

March 16- Today wasn't as full as planned, the playdate and school Spring Fling were cancelled due to bad weather. So, we went to the Dr's appointment, Blockbuster, and Foodlion. Here's how it all went down. The Dr appt went great, hubby stayed in the car while I went in and they forgot to ask for my $200 payment. Everything with baby # 3 looks good. Next stop Blockbuster. We pull into the parking lot, hubby runs in I stay in the car with the boys. He's in there for 35 min. How long does it take to pick out a movie??? The kids are screaming, and Jeremy has taken his shoes off and helped William do the same. I'm thankful that it was just shoes and don't say anything. Finally hubby returns to the car with five movies, none of them movies the kids or I will enjoy all stupid action movies. I'm slightly frustrated at this point because I sat in the car for 35 minutes with screaming kids and don't even get a movie out of the deal. But I let it go, after all hubby was in the car with them at the Dr's. Foodlion here we come. We get to the grocery store and it's snowing like crazy. I load William into the cart and Jeremy walks along. Hubby decides to go smoke a cigarette and says he'll be back in a minute. I begin shopping. So far so good, no moments. We get to the canned goods aisle and Jeremy starts putting any and everything that looks interesting in the cart. So I make a deal with him, he can put items in the cart but only what I hand him. He is satisfied with this arrangement, problem solved. Jeremy quickly looses interest in putting the items I select in the cart and decides it would be best if he take off his shoes and run around like a wild child in his socks. This does not go over well with other shoppers or management. Hubby is still gone, apparently one cigarette just wasn't enough and he started on a carton. I get Jeremy's shoes back on and we leave the canned goods, moving on to the dairy department. Cheese and milk are all we need on this aisle, easy enough right? WRONG!!! As I am putting packages of shredded cheese in the cart William begins throwing things out of the cart. We play a few rounds of pick up and finally William gets bored with the activity and stops. I'm on the verge of loosing it. I put two gallons of milk in the cart, look around and Jeremy has ran back to the yogurt. I sigh, and push the cart up to him. He has a carton of Shrek smoothie drinks and wants me to get them. I tell him "no" because we bought them last week and he didn't like them. He stomps his feet and holds on tight to the package of drinks. I take a deep breath, and begin prying the smoothies out of his arms. Everyone in the dairy section is staring at me, so I give everyone the WTF are you looking at glare, and head for the check out. Well since hubby still hasn't made it back into the store, I have no money. Oh yeah I forgot, William took his shoes off somewhere between the milk and yogurt, and I didn't notice till we got to the check out area. This is where I loose it. I push the cart into the frozen food area grab the kids, don't bother looking for William's shoes and head for the door, prepared to cuss hubby. I get to the cart area and he's standing there ON THE PHONE!!! He looks at me and smiles, I give him a dirty look. He says " I gotta go" to whoever he's talking too and we walk back into the store. He asks me where the cart is I say " Well I was on my way to the car to tell you if you wanted any groceries go find the cart and pay for them" He says "Oh well I would have just left the s*** there " I say " Fine with me" and begin marching back out of the store, I calm down slightly and turn around. I figure buy them now or do this again tomorrow. So I hand Jeremy off to hubby and push the cart into the nearest check out line. Hubby sees our neighbor and starts talking to him. I'm okay with that, until the cashier is done and hubby is still running his mouth. I yell across the store that I need some money, and he comes and pays for the groceries. I start pushing the cart toward the door thankful that it's all over. Luckily I look down and see William's feet, and remember his shoes are still in dairyland. I leave the cart set and go get William's shoes, they were inside the cooler beside the sourcream. They ended up there one of two ways, he threw them there or Jeremy helped take them off and thought it would be funny to put them there. Shoes on his feet William and I head for the nearest exit. We get to the front door Hubby is still standing there, looking at the receipt. I put William back in the cart and begin pushing it out the door, hubby remains standing by the door. I yell in a very sarcastic voice "don't worry honey I've got it, no help needed here" He looks up apologizes and we finally make it to the car. Ugh.. I notice I forgot bread, and send hubby back in for it. He's quick about it and eventually we are on the way home. The entire drive I'm thanking Rockingham County schools for cancelling the Spring Fling, and hoping the day gets better, because it's not even 2 in the afternoon yet.

March 15 2007 - Todays Adventure

March 15- Well today started out a bit rough. The boys destroyed the living room last night, so I started off the morning cleaning, bright and early at 7 a.m. After the cleaning I threw some cinnamon rolls in the oven and started packing for the day's adventure to Mommy and Me. The boys woke up before I was finished packing so I had to stop to get them breakfast. At this point I'm not stressed. I finish packing the diaper bags and a cooler w/ drinks. Now, breakfast is over, and William has most of it in his hair, so he needs a bath. While I'm giving William a bath Jeremy decides it would be a good idea take his PJ's off and run around naked, no big deal. Okay bath is over, time to get dressed. I begin by gathering all necessary clothing and laying it out on the beds. Jeremy wants to argue about the shirt I've picked out…. Stress starts now. So we go few rounds and he gives up. Great now we have gone from right on schedule to running late. I finish helping Jeremy get dressed and move on to William, who isn't old enough to care what he wears. We get to the shoes and I can only find one shoe. Stress level increases to medium. I can't find the damn shoe anywhere!!! I look over, under, and between everything, including hubby's ass as he sits in the recliner watching me search for the shoe while he searches the net. Finally I've had enough and scream at him to help me find the shoe. Well he walks around a bit looking here and there, then walks into the boy's room and reappears with the shoe, claiming it was in the middle of the floor. Right where I should have seen it. I don't believe it was there. There is no way in hell the shoe was there. Now we are really late… and I look down at myself. I am still in a T-shirt and underwear. Stress level is now at high because I have to get ready in like 5 min no shower, no makeup, hair not done, and go out in public. I throw on the only clothes that fit me, grab my bag and I'm ready to head out the door. Wrong, I still have all my crap to load in the car, stroller, diaper bags, cooler. I give hubby the you better help me look and grabs the stroller and the cooler. I grab diaper bags and kids. We get to the bottom of the steps and Jeremy decides he would rather play with the neighbor's dog than get in the car, we are super late at this point. Stress level getting higher. I finally convince Jeremy to get in the car, and we're off. I arrive at the rec. center late but before my friend who invited me to join her. I unload everything and we head inside. As we are walking up the sidewalk I go over the rules with Jeremy, no hitting, no biting, the typical no no's. Half way through the rules, he looks and me and says "mommy shut it". I ignore him and continue, and he again says "mommy shut it" louder as if I didn't hear him the first time. Now I have to take a moment to tell him that wasn't nice and he responds with "me mean". So I address the issue a bit further, and we go inside. While inside William keeps crying, doesn't want to play with the other kids, instead he wants to be held. Jeremy runs everywhere except where he's supposed to be running. Finally I realize my kids are not Mommy and Me kids and ask my friend if she wants to go to the park instead. She does so I get our things together to leave, Jeremy doesn't want to give up the playground ball. He has a total moment. So I tell him that we will stop at the store on the way to the park and get a ball to play with. This conversation is taking place as I am dragging him out. Luckily he agrees by the time we reach the sidewalk and calms down. About 10 minutes pass and we pull into the Dollar General parking lot. I unload the kids, we go into the store. I put William in the cart and Jeremy walks. We get to the outdoor toy section and I tell Jeremy to pick out a ball, he picks out 5. I don't feel like arguing and they are only a dollar so I let it go. Then Jeremy runs, to the clothing section, comes back with an outfit, not the right size and says " hot, wear shorts" it was pretty warm out so I get the right size and make my way to the checkout. On the way to the checkout we just had to pass a horse, Jeremy's one obsession. He wants the horse, I tell him "no" because he already has one similar at home. Jeremy has moment #2. We finally get everything paid for and leave the store and head for Kids Castle. 40 minutes have passed since leaving Mommy and Me, and my friend was waiting at the park. We get to the playground I start to unload the cooler and the stroller, glance up and notice Jeremy is getting naked. So I go around to his door and open it and ask him what he's doing. He says "getting nakey" I ask why, he responds with "me hot". I explain to him that "nakey" at the park is inappropriate and he must wear clothes. He puts on the new shorts outfit and we move on. We make it past the parking lot to the play area. YAY!!! Everything is going great, kids are having a great time and so are the adults. The afternoon is going well, kids are playing, laughing, eating dirt and gravels. I put William in one of the baby swings, thinking he'll love it. WRONG!! He to hates it, and screams till I get him out. He's got to be the only kid I know who hates swinging. Moving on… a few hours pass and a little girl comes to the park with her mommy and new puppy. Jeremy notices the puppy but ignores it. Eventually he stops ignoring the puppy walks up to the little girl as she is leading it around grabs the leash says " thanks" to the girl and runs away with her puppy. The little girl has a meltdown and so does her mother. I make Jeremy give the dog back and tell him to say he's sorry. He refuses to say he's sorry so I drop it, he gave the dog back without having a moment so I consider myself lucky. Next comes my embarrassment. I'm one of the moms who plays with her kids as much as possible on the playground. I'm 7 mo pregnant so there wasn't much possible. I put William in the middle of a rubber bouncey bridge and I decide it would be a good idea to jump up and down at one end so he'll bounce. Picture it my very large pregnant self jumping up and down, everyone is staring at me, I don't care. 30 seconds later I care. Why because my very large pregnant self slipped and went sliding down the rubber bridge on my ass!!!. I look around everyone's still staring. So I play it cool as if I meant to slide. That pretty much sums up my afternoon adventure. All in all it was great, everyone had a blast. Can't wait to see what tomorrow will be like, we have Dr's appt in AM, playdate lunch and Spring Fling at Jeremy's school. I'll let ya know what happens.