Friday, December 5, 2008

I'm It

Well as many of you have probably noticed I haven't visited bloggyland in quite sometime... but my dear friend Sarah over at The Zoo tagged me in her most recent game.. So heres the deal I had to go to my 4th picture folder and post the 4th picture... So here it is

This is me and my best friend Krystal at a bar.... Ahh.. memories!!

Here's my Four. Go to the 4th picture file on your puter' and then post the 4th pic in that file...

Fragile What!?

My Kids Might Be Martians

Holly Daze

Adventures In Holland

Friday, October 24, 2008

Late Night Search for the "Special Spot"

Last night at approximately 1:30 AM The X Mom was seen outdoors in her PJ’s. She appeared to be yelling at two large rats. The rats were later found to be the newest members of the X Mom Gang Pup Pup and Zoey. X Mom was upset because the dogs were having trouble finding their “special spot”. You know that one spot in the yard that smells just right for pooping. After several minutes of sniffing and no pooping she began getting frustrated with the dogs and yelled for them to come in, living up to their recent gang membership the dogs didn’t listen. X Mom debated on weather or not she should attempt to catch them or just wait until the “special spot” was discovered and all pooping was finished. Eventually she decided on waiting it out. She waited, and waited until finally Pup Pup unloaded and ran to the bottom of the porch. Now both Pup Pup and X Mom waited on Zoey who apparently loves her poo too much to just let it go anywhere. Suddenly Zoey lifted her nose in the air catching a whiff of her “special spot” and off she goes running full speed to the neighbors yard, setting off the neighbors dog, a boxer who hates it when any other animals enter his turf.
What do you think happened next….. Did X Mom run into the neighbors yard to rescue Zoey from her demise… Did Zoey stand up to the boxer and hold her own… Have funeral arrangements been made…

Sunday, October 19, 2008

Newest Members of The X Mom Gang

The X Mom gang has recruited two new members, Zoey and Pup Pup. These two wonderful Daschunds were given to the gang by Smarty Pants's sperm donor! The X Mom herself didn't have the heart to tell the Gang that no new recruits were needed at this time. Maybe these two will spice things up around here, they've been dare I say "boring" lately.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Xceptional Inspiration

This is not your typical X Mom blog, but I felt that I must share with readers what a wonderful experience I had this morning at James Madison Universities Child Adolescent Psychological Services department. I met a wonderful man there Dr. T. He has been the most helpful out of all the professionals I have ever met.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Playing Tag..Seven Random Things About Me

I was tagged by FXSMom over at Fragile What!?
1. I have 3 tatoos: A sun on my ankle, a moon on my shoulder and a butterfly on my lower back
2. I will only drink coffee if I have French Vanilla liquid creamer
3. My dream career is to become a special education teacher, second choice would be pediatric nursing.
4. I regret having my tubes tied.
5. I have my tongue pierced
6. I have been a SAHM for almost 5 years now.
7. I follow Flylady faithfully.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

The X Mom Has Lost IT...

Most Recent Vacation

On the night of September 13th members of The X Mom gang were overheard talking in their secret tongue, Bubble Bath Babble. The X Mom suspected that they were planning her next trip to the Islands of Crazy, these trips are always last minute but never really a surprise. Her alarm clock was set for 8:00 AM on Sunday the 14th, but she was awakened by a smack in the face from young Scooter at 5:07 AM. She thought to herself, “yep definitely taking a trip today”. Scooter would not go back to sleep and was joined by the rest of the gang around 6:00 AM. The X Mom deciding to make the best of an early start, gathered up some laundry and headed to the basement to start a load. The gang acted fast while she was gone, helping themselves to very large bowls of cereal. When their mother entered the kitchen she was shocked, but not by all the cereal on the counter, the large amounts of milk on the floor, or Renegade Doodles licking the milk up off the floor pretending to be a dog of course while nakey. What shocked her was that the boys chose unsweetened cheerios instead of the Coco Crunchies they had insisted on during the last grocery trip. She cleaned up the mess and put the gang in the living room and headed for the shower. When she stepped out of the shower all she could hear was silence, which all moms know silence is never good. She dressed quickly and came out into the living room only to find three very sweet boys watching TV just as she had left them. Hmmm she thought there must be a mess somewhere, but there was none. Oh no she thought they are saving their energy for something big. The X Mom reports that the boys began driving her to the Islands around noon, this time Hershey “The Growler” and Sniffer “Spoiled Pup” Chase were recruited by the gang for entertainment. Her trip began with the usual, a few rounds of “Let’s Get Nakey” “Poo Poo Patties”, followed by Sniffer’s favorite “ Taste of Victoria”. For those of you who are unfamiliar with “Taste of Victoria” playing is easy, just grab your best Victoria’s Secret bra, particularly the one that makes your breast look like they did before you had and breastfed your babies; hand it to your dog and let him chew it up. The X Mom gang became bored with these games around 4 P.M and decided it was time to play “No Me Not”, we asked The X Mom to explain how this game works, but she informed us that was not necessary all SAHM’s are experts and play several rounds daily. It was after round five of “No Me Not” when The X Mom realized they had passed the exit to Crazy and she was now going to end up visiting The Bridge of Insanity instead.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Underage Posession and Distribution

At approximately 8 p.m. on the night of September, 7 known member of The X Mom gang Renegade Doodle was caught by Parental Authorities (PA) and charged with Underage Possession and Distribution of Carpet Fresh. Renegade Doodle was tried in Parental Court immediately. He plead guilty. His exact words were " My fault. I sorry. I clean up." PA's could not agree on the sentencing for such a crime. The female PA felt that all charges should be dropped because Renegade Doodle did apologize and it was she who left the Carpet Fresh out on the counter. The male PA felt that Renegade Doodle knew that he was doing wrong and should be given lights out early. After several minutes of discussion, the female PA won, which isn't surprising, and all charges were dropped against Renegade Doodle.

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Letter to Renegade Doodle

Dearest Renegade Doodle,
As I was rocking you back to sleep around two o’clock this morning, I was brought to tears as I realized how much you have grown since you were born nearly three years ago. You’ve gotten taller, your fat baby legs have gone away, and you’ve developed quite a personality. Sometimes you behave in ways only I can understand, and you do things that cause me to see horns instead of a halo, but what fun would my day be if you didn’t. You force me to laugh with your cute sayings and smiling face when I’d rather cry. It wasn’t until this morning that I noticed how with each passing day you want to be held less and less. I must face the fact that you are getting older, and becoming a big boy. It is hard for me to let go of your hand as we walk up the steps, but you no longer need it. Putting you on the bus for school was very emotional for me. I didn’t want to let you go. A part me feels cheated because you had to start school so young, I wanted you at home all day for five years not three. Selfish I know, but every mother is when it comes to time with her babies. I hope that I am able to continue letting go when I need to, no matter how much I want to hold on. You make it clear to me several times a day that you want to be independent, I hope that desire continues to grow stronger. Our relationship will surely change as the years go by, and you will no longer want me to be as involved as I would like, but please my Renegade Doodle remember that I love you and will no matter what path you choose to follow in life; and I will always be glad that you are one of the gang.

Monday, September 8, 2008

"Where's Your Pee Pee"

The oldest member of The X Mom gang, “Smarty Pants” accidentally saw his mother just as she was getting out of the shower. Mrs. Euglow told “Smarty Pants” to leave the bathroom and she would be out in a minute. He left the room, but continued to peek without his mother seeing him. When Mrs. Euglow was finished getting dressed she walked over to her bed and sat down beside Smarty Pants. Smarty Pants looked at his mother and giggled. “What’s so funny?” asked his mother. He replies with “Where’s your Pee Pee?” His mother points to the TV and says “right there” thinking she misunderstood what Smarty Pants said. Smarty Pants then says “that not a pee pee.” This time his mother clearly understands what he his referring to and decided to keep things simple and replies “ I don’t have a pee pee.” Instead of asking why Smarty Pants asks “Did it hurt” sighing with relief, thinking the subject has changed to a bruise on her leg or something his mother asks “Did what hurt?” “Did hurt when cut it off?” was Smarty Pants next sentence.

Solitary Confinement

Renegade Doodle was given three minutes of solitary confinement for climbing on the table in his LSES cell. The head guard Mrs. Best Teacher told Renegade Doodle to get off the table, he listened but climbed on it again as soon as her back was turned. It was written in Renegade Doodles communication log that today he showed an entirely different side of himself. His mother, Bethany Euglow a.k.a The X Mom was tempted to write “I told you so” in response, but decided it would be best if she didn’t. This would however have been a very fitting comment. Mrs. Best Teacher as well as other officials at LSES had been warned of Renegade Doodle’s defiant behaviors. Mrs. Euglow’s warnings were met with disbelief. When asked how she felt about Renegade Doodle’s time in solitaire her response was “ I have to admit a part of me was ecstatic that he is finally comfortable enough to misbehave.” " I just hope he doesn't get too comfortable, too much comfort often results in nakey."

Saturday, September 6, 2008

Joy Ride Ends with Hit and Run

Early on the evening of September 4, 2008 two members of The X Mom gang, Renegade Doodle and Scooter, were seen joy riding around the yard in their John Deere Gator. According to witnesses Renegade Doodle was behind the wheel when the Gator crashed into a rose bush, belonging to their Grandma. Renegade Doodle fled the scene before Parental Authorities (PA) could arrive. Scooter who was belted in the Gator, was arrested by PA at the scene. Renegade Doodle was later found underneath the porch steps, nakey. He was charged with a Hit and Run Accident (HRA) and indecent exposure (IE). This will be Renegade Doodle’s first time being charged with a HRA, but he has had numerous IE charges and will be considered a habitual offender at this point. In exchange for his help in locating Renegade Doodle no charges were pressed against Scooter. All charges were dropped, after Grandma refused to testify against Renegade Doodle, commenting later that she felt PA were to blame.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Summer on The Islands

The X Mom, Bethany Euglow was recently interviewed about her summer at home with the gang. She told interviewers that most of her summer was spent vacationing on the Islands of Crazy along with her closest SAHM pals. Mrs. Euglow informed reporters that her past times while visiting the islands were games inspired by the gang. “Let’s Get Nakey”, “Hide the Shoe” and “Find the Poopy Diaper” are some her favorites. When she wasn’t busy playing games she would enjoy some aroma therapy relaxation in the “Laundry Room Spa” or taking classes offered in Culinary Arts. Often vacations to the islands are covered by insurance companies providing visitors with access to Xanax, and one on one therapy. In order to return from Crazy several shots are required. The list is as follows two shots of Jose’ Cuervo, three shots Captain Morgan. Shot schedule must be repeated weekly. When asked what the best route to get the islands was Mrs. Euglow replied “ask the gang, they usually drive me”.

**This one needs some fine tuning, but figured I'd go ahead and post**

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Oldest Members of The X Mom Gang Sentenced to 13 Years in the Virginia Department of Education LSES Unit.

August 26th was a judgment day for the oldest members of The X Mom’s gang. Jeremy “Smarty Pants” and William “Renegade Doodle” were forced to begin serving their 13 yr sentence at LSES. LSES will release the gang members in the afternoons, however they will remain under adult supervision and will not be allowed to leave the outdoor play area unless accompanied by responsible adult. It is stipulated in their sentence agreements that they must complete thirty minutes of paperwork after returning home. This stipulation did not go over well, but it was pointed out to Smarty Pants and Renegade Doodle that failure to complete assigned paperwork would result in a longer sentence, so the boys complied. Smarty Pants wasn’t worried about leaving for the day, he has served time at LSES for the past two years and a year at JCMES so he knew the drill. Renegade Doodle having never been in a vehicle without an immediate family member was hesitant to get onto a bus filled with strangers, so his mother carried him and placed him in his booster seat.
Mrs. Euglow a.k.a. The X Mom was sad to see the leaders go but underneath all her sadness was a bit of relief. Now that the older members would be gone all day certainly a few hours of relaxation could be enjoyed, or so she thought. It wasn’t long after Smarty Pants and Renegade Doodle’s departure until she realized young Scooter had been trained well.

Sunday, August 31, 2008

Today I Learned So Much

Today I spent a great deal of time with my grandpa and my two oldest boys, Jeremy and William. Oh what a learning experience. This was the first time that I spent practically all day outside our home with my boys and Pap, so many of my sons behaviors were explained.
The first thing that I now have an explanation for is my boys desire to pull down their pants and pee in bushes at parking lots. Well that is exactly what Pap does when they gotta go pee. He is 75 years old so taking two boys into a store to use the bathroom just can’t happen so he pulls over to the end of the parking lot and lets them pee in the bushes.. This has been an issue with us for quite sometime and now I know why they do it. The next thing I learned is why they come home from outings with Pap hyper and excited, he feeds them chocolate bars all day and gives em’ a little Pepsi to wash em’ down, and to think I thought it was because Pap made them that happy with his personality and charm. I was way off base there. These explanations were provided while running some errands in town, once errands were over we headed for Pap’s little patch of mountain heaven we call the Hog Pen.

The Hog Pen is nothing more than a few acres of land in BFE. The first thing the boys do once we hit our private back road is get out of their car seats. Pap is okay with this because it’s a private drive in the middle of nowhere. Well my boys get out of their car seats when I have them in my van every time we are on a back country road, which is quite often, I’ve been trying to get them to stop this for some time now so I was ecstatic to find the cause of this behavior. We pull up to the camper that Pap leaves in the mountains year round and the first thing he tells the boys to do is “feed the bears”. Jeremy and William get out of the van, run across the gravel road and come back with two metal tubs. Jeremy goes into the camper and gets corn and fills his tub, and Pap opens a large barrel filled with old bread for William. The bread is still in the bags so William tears them open and dumps them in his tub.
This was great manly fun for the boys, but my dear William has brought his wonderful bread bag tearing skill home over the past few weeks. He has torn open loaf after loaf of bread, and dumped them into my large metal mixing bowl more times than I can count. I have been racking my brain trying to understand why he was doing this well now I know, and can work on getting him to understand that bread dumpin’ aint cool unless your feeding the bears. Even though Pap is the source for such poor behavior I consider myself and my boys blessed to have him in our lives. He is a wonderful man and we love him.

"Renegade Doodle" Feeding the bears "Smarty Pants" Carrying the tubs

Saturday, August 16, 2008

SAHM Banned From Local Foodlion Due to Blonde Moment

SAHM Banned From Local Foodlion Due to Blonde Moment
August 14, 2008. Stay at home mom (SAHM) Bethany Euglow was banned from Timberville Foodlion. It all started when Mrs. Euglow entered the store with her three sons, William “Renegade Doodle”, James “Scooter” and Jeremy “Smarty Pants”. James the youngest of the three brothers just joined the gang after completing his initiation. Young James was forced to tear out his mothers pots and destroy the spice cabinets. What is going on in the minds of today’s youth. Luckily the gang’s mascots, Hershey “The Growler” and Sir Sniffer “Spoiled Pup” Chase were left at home. Every thing was going fine, the three boys passed the “Lays” potato chip display without a whine, and Mrs. Euglow headed for the Deli. After waiting quietly for 45 seconds at the Deli counter as a young girl slowly sliced the roast beef their mother had ordered the boys decided it was time to take action, and speed things up. “Smarty Pants” the only one of the 3 boys outside the cart looks around for something and spies the lettuce. Having been through this numerous times, his mother knew what was about to go down, and screams “no” as he races toward the lettuce “Renegade Doodle” cheers him on and “Scooter” claps with excitement as “Smarty Pants” drops one head of lettuce on the floor and begins kicking it as if it were a soccer ball. The girl behind the deli counter eyes the young boy in horror, and begins slicing faster. Mrs. Euglow chases her son through the produce department they pass the grapes, one of “Smarty Pants” weaknesses and he stops, but not for long. He reaches out his hand complete with sticky fingers grabs a bunch of grapes, and begins eating them. At this Mrs. Euglow’s face becomes flushed with rage and she begins shouting, drawing a great deal of attention to herself. Not knowing what else to do Mrs. Euglow remembers there is gum in her purse and she pulls out a piece, “Smarty Pants” stops dead in his tracks and returns to the cart. This would have been enough to make most mothers call it a day, but not Mrs. Euglow, her nerves are made of Xanax and various other legal narcotics, so she straightens her hair smiles and picks the roast beef up at the Deli. Determined to continue shopping Mrs. Euglow places two bundles of bananas in the cart and moves on to pasta aisle. “Renegade Doodles” escapes from the cart bananas in hand as his mother is trying to decide if she should buy Lipton or Rice a Roni. “Smarty Pants” joins “Renegade Doodle” in a game of tag up and down the aisle. Mrs. Euglow threw 6 boxes of Rice a Roni in the cart, counted to ten twice then headed after the boys. According to 18 year old assistant manger Steve Whogivesashit this is when he gave his first warning to Mrs. Euglow advising if such disruption continued she and her gang would need to leave the store. Mr. Whogivesashit states that Mrs. Euglow responded with what seemed to be a heartfelt apology, followed by laughter. What was amusing her so much is what inquiring minds would like to know. Was it the unruly behavior of her young gang members or the lack of manliness in young Steve’s voice? Mrs. Euglow was seen giving the young boys a serious talk. Threats were included, the boys mother threatened to put the chips back if behavior did not improve. She informed the boys that chips were not a necessity and they could live without them, looks of disbelief spread across their young faces, and “Smarty Pants” said “don’t tell me that crap”. “Renegade Doodle” hung is head in defeat as he was placed back in the cart. “Scooter” knew it was his turn, and he must out do his fellow counterparts, but how he wondered I can’t even walk yet. Thinking that things couldn’t possibly get worse, Mrs. Euglow pushes the cart towards the Frozen Food section, hoping to find some mixed veggies and a bag of parenting skills. “Scooter” notices his mother back is turned and takes advantage of this opportunity. He tears open a box of Chicken Rice a Roni, and shakes the box while laughing hysterically. “Renegade Doodle” and “Smarty Pants” know that they are about to win the war when they see their mother take several deep breaths and begin tapping her foot. “Renegade Doodle” begins yelling “Let me out!!” at the top of his lungs “Smarty Pants” is singing “Who let the dogs out” adding barking sounds whenever he feels necessary. After having witnessed theses events on the security cameras Mr. Whogivesashit approaches Mrs. Euglow once more, this time accompanied by the store manager 35 year old Mike Shouldawenttocollege. The two men politely ask Mrs. Euglow to leave the store, she agrees, but the boys aren’t going down with out a fight. Mrs. Euglow get’s “Renegade Doodle” out of the cart, and picks “Scooter” up out of the back “Smarty Pants” calls the two men “stupid shit heads” and “Renegade Doodle” gets in one good kick, hitting Mr. Shouldawenttocollege in the shin. When asked why she brought the gang into the store Mrs. Euglow, replied “I don’t know what I was thinking, guess I had a blonde moment”.

Thursday, August 14, 2008

My Story- Condensed Version

I got pregnant with my first child when I was 19. Jeremy was born just after I turned 20, weighing in at 8lb 9oz and 19 inches long. I started noticing delays when he was around 4 months old. He wasn't holding his head up, he couldn't roll over and he had very weak muscle tone. So I contacted our local early intervention group and he started receiving infant education and PT by 6 months. As he got closer and closer to 2 and wasn't talking and showed delays in all other areas he was referred to a specialist at Kluge Childrens Rehabilitation Center in Charlottesville VA . The Dr's first thought was Autism, but they took one look at Jeremy and said no way he was way to social, next guess Fragile X Syndrome (FX). They said they didn't see many FX cases and that most likely he would test negative, but he didn't. I was already pregnant with my second son at this time. My family was very supportive of me when it came to Jeremy's diagnoses but only my husband (then boyfriend) was supportive of my continuing my second pregnancy. My mother and father both thought that I should terminate the pregnancy. Which never even crossed my mind. Dr's wanted me to have an amnio but I refused , my feelings were that it didn't matter if he tested postive, I was going to give birth and raise him no matter what. William was born when Jeremy was about 2 1/2 yrs old, he weighed 8lbs 4oz and was 18 inches long, gorgeous. He failed his hearing tests in his left ear, but regained hearing a few months later. He tested positve for FX at birth. He said his first word, sat up on his own and started walking all on time. He has global dealys but they aren't severe. When William was 18 months old I gave birth to my third son James, who is 15 months old. James was recenlty tested for FX, his results were negative. I get the "why'd you have more" reaction from people all the time when they know that my children are special needs. I respond with I had more because I was blessed with beautiful loving boys who make me smile a million times a day and laugh more than I smile. Sure there have been trying times but I wouldn't change a thing. I love all my boys. I did have my tubes tied after James, but have had second thoughts since it was done.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Poem- You and I

You and I

I am strong, but you see weak.
I have a voice but you do not hear me
I can learn if your willing to teach me
You can learn from me if your willing to be taught
You and I are the same but you treat me differently
I have small feet but they can fill big shoes
I am faced with mountains, you call them mole hills.
I have limited patience, you are impatient with me.
You expect me to seek friendship, but you don’t want to be my friend.
You wonder why I am staring at you, it’s because you won’t stop looking at me.
I want to love you, but you don’t want to like me.
I am Fragile, you see broken
I am a child, and you are all around me.
-Bethany Euglow

March 18 2007 Better or Worse

Today could have been better but it could have been worse. I've got the flu so I'm extra tired. William woke up at 5 a.m. so we watched Diego video's till around 8, when I'd had enough and woke hubby up. Hubby moaned and groaned and didn't want to get up with him, but I didn't give in. Finally he rolled his lazy ass out of bed and I went back to bed. I woke up around noon, to find William in the crib asleep and hubby is gone. I don't mean outside gone I mean got in the car and left. I'm pissed, he could have at least left a note. So I call his cell, VM picks up directly. I don't leave a message. I don't have the energy to deal with it so I go on with the day as best I can. All day long I'm thinking about the cussing I'm going to give him the minute he walks in the door. Finally he calls me around 6:30 p.m wanting to know if I need anything from Foodlion, I say no and hang up. He gets home I try to ignore him, and he asks "are you mad at me??" I'm thinking that's a stupid question. I reply "yea I'm mad, I've been home sick all day with these kids, your so selfish, you don't care about anybody but yourself." Then I shut up because I don't want to get into a heated argument. He just kinda looks at me, I'm sitting on the floor with my hair half up half down, and kids hanging on me. I just start crying. He sits down on the floor beside me and suggests we watch a movie. We do and he rubs my shoulders. Then he actually gets off his butt and helps me, he gave the boys a bath, cleaned their room, and vacuumed. And now he's at Foodlion buying me Vanilla ice cream and rootbeer. So like I said it could have been better but could've been worse.

March 16 2007 - Dr's Ofc, Blockbuster and Foodlion

March 16- Today wasn't as full as planned, the playdate and school Spring Fling were cancelled due to bad weather. So, we went to the Dr's appointment, Blockbuster, and Foodlion. Here's how it all went down. The Dr appt went great, hubby stayed in the car while I went in and they forgot to ask for my $200 payment. Everything with baby # 3 looks good. Next stop Blockbuster. We pull into the parking lot, hubby runs in I stay in the car with the boys. He's in there for 35 min. How long does it take to pick out a movie??? The kids are screaming, and Jeremy has taken his shoes off and helped William do the same. I'm thankful that it was just shoes and don't say anything. Finally hubby returns to the car with five movies, none of them movies the kids or I will enjoy all stupid action movies. I'm slightly frustrated at this point because I sat in the car for 35 minutes with screaming kids and don't even get a movie out of the deal. But I let it go, after all hubby was in the car with them at the Dr's. Foodlion here we come. We get to the grocery store and it's snowing like crazy. I load William into the cart and Jeremy walks along. Hubby decides to go smoke a cigarette and says he'll be back in a minute. I begin shopping. So far so good, no moments. We get to the canned goods aisle and Jeremy starts putting any and everything that looks interesting in the cart. So I make a deal with him, he can put items in the cart but only what I hand him. He is satisfied with this arrangement, problem solved. Jeremy quickly looses interest in putting the items I select in the cart and decides it would be best if he take off his shoes and run around like a wild child in his socks. This does not go over well with other shoppers or management. Hubby is still gone, apparently one cigarette just wasn't enough and he started on a carton. I get Jeremy's shoes back on and we leave the canned goods, moving on to the dairy department. Cheese and milk are all we need on this aisle, easy enough right? WRONG!!! As I am putting packages of shredded cheese in the cart William begins throwing things out of the cart. We play a few rounds of pick up and finally William gets bored with the activity and stops. I'm on the verge of loosing it. I put two gallons of milk in the cart, look around and Jeremy has ran back to the yogurt. I sigh, and push the cart up to him. He has a carton of Shrek smoothie drinks and wants me to get them. I tell him "no" because we bought them last week and he didn't like them. He stomps his feet and holds on tight to the package of drinks. I take a deep breath, and begin prying the smoothies out of his arms. Everyone in the dairy section is staring at me, so I give everyone the WTF are you looking at glare, and head for the check out. Well since hubby still hasn't made it back into the store, I have no money. Oh yeah I forgot, William took his shoes off somewhere between the milk and yogurt, and I didn't notice till we got to the check out area. This is where I loose it. I push the cart into the frozen food area grab the kids, don't bother looking for William's shoes and head for the door, prepared to cuss hubby. I get to the cart area and he's standing there ON THE PHONE!!! He looks at me and smiles, I give him a dirty look. He says " I gotta go" to whoever he's talking too and we walk back into the store. He asks me where the cart is I say " Well I was on my way to the car to tell you if you wanted any groceries go find the cart and pay for them" He says "Oh well I would have just left the s*** there " I say " Fine with me" and begin marching back out of the store, I calm down slightly and turn around. I figure buy them now or do this again tomorrow. So I hand Jeremy off to hubby and push the cart into the nearest check out line. Hubby sees our neighbor and starts talking to him. I'm okay with that, until the cashier is done and hubby is still running his mouth. I yell across the store that I need some money, and he comes and pays for the groceries. I start pushing the cart toward the door thankful that it's all over. Luckily I look down and see William's feet, and remember his shoes are still in dairyland. I leave the cart set and go get William's shoes, they were inside the cooler beside the sourcream. They ended up there one of two ways, he threw them there or Jeremy helped take them off and thought it would be funny to put them there. Shoes on his feet William and I head for the nearest exit. We get to the front door Hubby is still standing there, looking at the receipt. I put William back in the cart and begin pushing it out the door, hubby remains standing by the door. I yell in a very sarcastic voice "don't worry honey I've got it, no help needed here" He looks up apologizes and we finally make it to the car. Ugh.. I notice I forgot bread, and send hubby back in for it. He's quick about it and eventually we are on the way home. The entire drive I'm thanking Rockingham County schools for cancelling the Spring Fling, and hoping the day gets better, because it's not even 2 in the afternoon yet.

March 15 2007 - Todays Adventure

March 15- Well today started out a bit rough. The boys destroyed the living room last night, so I started off the morning cleaning, bright and early at 7 a.m. After the cleaning I threw some cinnamon rolls in the oven and started packing for the day's adventure to Mommy and Me. The boys woke up before I was finished packing so I had to stop to get them breakfast. At this point I'm not stressed. I finish packing the diaper bags and a cooler w/ drinks. Now, breakfast is over, and William has most of it in his hair, so he needs a bath. While I'm giving William a bath Jeremy decides it would be a good idea take his PJ's off and run around naked, no big deal. Okay bath is over, time to get dressed. I begin by gathering all necessary clothing and laying it out on the beds. Jeremy wants to argue about the shirt I've picked out…. Stress starts now. So we go few rounds and he gives up. Great now we have gone from right on schedule to running late. I finish helping Jeremy get dressed and move on to William, who isn't old enough to care what he wears. We get to the shoes and I can only find one shoe. Stress level increases to medium. I can't find the damn shoe anywhere!!! I look over, under, and between everything, including hubby's ass as he sits in the recliner watching me search for the shoe while he searches the net. Finally I've had enough and scream at him to help me find the shoe. Well he walks around a bit looking here and there, then walks into the boy's room and reappears with the shoe, claiming it was in the middle of the floor. Right where I should have seen it. I don't believe it was there. There is no way in hell the shoe was there. Now we are really late… and I look down at myself. I am still in a T-shirt and underwear. Stress level is now at high because I have to get ready in like 5 min no shower, no makeup, hair not done, and go out in public. I throw on the only clothes that fit me, grab my bag and I'm ready to head out the door. Wrong, I still have all my crap to load in the car, stroller, diaper bags, cooler. I give hubby the you better help me look and grabs the stroller and the cooler. I grab diaper bags and kids. We get to the bottom of the steps and Jeremy decides he would rather play with the neighbor's dog than get in the car, we are super late at this point. Stress level getting higher. I finally convince Jeremy to get in the car, and we're off. I arrive at the rec. center late but before my friend who invited me to join her. I unload everything and we head inside. As we are walking up the sidewalk I go over the rules with Jeremy, no hitting, no biting, the typical no no's. Half way through the rules, he looks and me and says "mommy shut it". I ignore him and continue, and he again says "mommy shut it" louder as if I didn't hear him the first time. Now I have to take a moment to tell him that wasn't nice and he responds with "me mean". So I address the issue a bit further, and we go inside. While inside William keeps crying, doesn't want to play with the other kids, instead he wants to be held. Jeremy runs everywhere except where he's supposed to be running. Finally I realize my kids are not Mommy and Me kids and ask my friend if she wants to go to the park instead. She does so I get our things together to leave, Jeremy doesn't want to give up the playground ball. He has a total moment. So I tell him that we will stop at the store on the way to the park and get a ball to play with. This conversation is taking place as I am dragging him out. Luckily he agrees by the time we reach the sidewalk and calms down. About 10 minutes pass and we pull into the Dollar General parking lot. I unload the kids, we go into the store. I put William in the cart and Jeremy walks. We get to the outdoor toy section and I tell Jeremy to pick out a ball, he picks out 5. I don't feel like arguing and they are only a dollar so I let it go. Then Jeremy runs, to the clothing section, comes back with an outfit, not the right size and says " hot, wear shorts" it was pretty warm out so I get the right size and make my way to the checkout. On the way to the checkout we just had to pass a horse, Jeremy's one obsession. He wants the horse, I tell him "no" because he already has one similar at home. Jeremy has moment #2. We finally get everything paid for and leave the store and head for Kids Castle. 40 minutes have passed since leaving Mommy and Me, and my friend was waiting at the park. We get to the playground I start to unload the cooler and the stroller, glance up and notice Jeremy is getting naked. So I go around to his door and open it and ask him what he's doing. He says "getting nakey" I ask why, he responds with "me hot". I explain to him that "nakey" at the park is inappropriate and he must wear clothes. He puts on the new shorts outfit and we move on. We make it past the parking lot to the play area. YAY!!! Everything is going great, kids are having a great time and so are the adults. The afternoon is going well, kids are playing, laughing, eating dirt and gravels. I put William in one of the baby swings, thinking he'll love it. WRONG!! He to hates it, and screams till I get him out. He's got to be the only kid I know who hates swinging. Moving on… a few hours pass and a little girl comes to the park with her mommy and new puppy. Jeremy notices the puppy but ignores it. Eventually he stops ignoring the puppy walks up to the little girl as she is leading it around grabs the leash says " thanks" to the girl and runs away with her puppy. The little girl has a meltdown and so does her mother. I make Jeremy give the dog back and tell him to say he's sorry. He refuses to say he's sorry so I drop it, he gave the dog back without having a moment so I consider myself lucky. Next comes my embarrassment. I'm one of the moms who plays with her kids as much as possible on the playground. I'm 7 mo pregnant so there wasn't much possible. I put William in the middle of a rubber bouncey bridge and I decide it would be a good idea to jump up and down at one end so he'll bounce. Picture it my very large pregnant self jumping up and down, everyone is staring at me, I don't care. 30 seconds later I care. Why because my very large pregnant self slipped and went sliding down the rubber bridge on my ass!!!. I look around everyone's still staring. So I play it cool as if I meant to slide. That pretty much sums up my afternoon adventure. All in all it was great, everyone had a blast. Can't wait to see what tomorrow will be like, we have Dr's appt in AM, playdate lunch and Spring Fling at Jeremy's school. I'll let ya know what happens.