Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Letter to Renegade Doodle

Dearest Renegade Doodle,
As I was rocking you back to sleep around two o’clock this morning, I was brought to tears as I realized how much you have grown since you were born nearly three years ago. You’ve gotten taller, your fat baby legs have gone away, and you’ve developed quite a personality. Sometimes you behave in ways only I can understand, and you do things that cause me to see horns instead of a halo, but what fun would my day be if you didn’t. You force me to laugh with your cute sayings and smiling face when I’d rather cry. It wasn’t until this morning that I noticed how with each passing day you want to be held less and less. I must face the fact that you are getting older, and becoming a big boy. It is hard for me to let go of your hand as we walk up the steps, but you no longer need it. Putting you on the bus for school was very emotional for me. I didn’t want to let you go. A part me feels cheated because you had to start school so young, I wanted you at home all day for five years not three. Selfish I know, but every mother is when it comes to time with her babies. I hope that I am able to continue letting go when I need to, no matter how much I want to hold on. You make it clear to me several times a day that you want to be independent, I hope that desire continues to grow stronger. Our relationship will surely change as the years go by, and you will no longer want me to be as involved as I would like, but please my Renegade Doodle remember that I love you and will no matter what path you choose to follow in life; and I will always be glad that you are one of the gang.


Holly's mom said...

Holly will be 6 months old tomorrow, and already i am sad and shocked by how fast it goes, it makes me cry to thnk one day like your boy, she will be three, and i will wonder where the time has gone. What a great idea to write a letter to Renegade. I love how you have framed your blog, it is always so entertaining, you shoul dbe a newspaper writer!

Anonymous said...

i love your post. my son recently turned three and i can totally relate. it brought tears to my eyes as i read it

~Billie~ said...

Beautiful! Time flies by way too fast!